Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Tawith wives and children

Good morning. Well, I suppose for normal human beings it would be afternoon, but seeing as I haven't got up before 12 in the past few days, this is now officialy morning.

Although I will have lunch. Thats mainly because I haven't had breakfast for soooo long. I have the same packet of cereal from the start of the year (which I eat from when I am absolutely desperate for food). Its probably very unhealthy to do that, but what the hey? Most of the time I wake up too late for breakfast to be that helpful- if I was to have breakfast now I would have to wait until 4 to have lunch. My insane flatmates have been known to do that- trying to make me get a big lunch at 4 in the afternoon, the freaks.

My habit of posting daily photos shall be quelled today, as the only new photos I have are in my camera, which is downstairs. So I shall write about something instead.



There is often political capital to be had in the suggestion that video games increase violence. By putting us into situations where the only solution is to kill, they say, they are encouraging the continuation of violence. Well... maybe so, but I suspect the reason these games exist is to sate our natual urge to violence. Exhibit A is the Sims. Known as the best selling game ever, this is a dull dull game. There is no goal, and the sims are frankly so moronic, with such simplistic AI, that seeing them change over time is an exercise in boredom. But everyone has played the sims, and most will agree on one thing. The best thing one can do in the sims is kill them. Starve them, drown them, or, as I did in one particularly inventive move, create a maze so long that they could not reach anywhere in time..... Exhibit B www.newgrounds.com . Now times have changed, and the site is now a place for terrible spoofs using bit graphics, but the way I discovered it, and I think most discovered it, was assasin. For the uninitiated, assasin was something that killed famous people, raging from britney spears to furby. Its pretty grade school humour, but when the internet was new that was all we had (well, ok, thats STILL mostly all it has anyways). OK, now I admit my two examples here involve killing annoying things. But then, I didn't think that killing was justified as long as someone was annoying.

Basically, we are violent bastards at heart, and its probably better for us to kill that damn moron in GTA than it is in real life....

Yeaaah, wisdom for the day.

Monday, May 30, 2005

Monday monday

Just for fun, an example of my friends childishness.


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And after

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Hehe, yeah....

I love my digital camera. I have a growing archive of amusing and just plain good photos on my laptop, which I really do need to switch to cd as a back up, but I'm sorta lazy. Its nice to have photos, 'cause they provide a visual memory that sometimes words can't cut. And also they look great posted online. Heh heh.

I've been revising hard recently. I also went to see star wars again the other day. www.noneedforbushido.com had a very funny dissection of it the other day, which if I was to try to repeat i'd just repeat. You can go find out yourself, its a newspost a couple of days back. Its also a pretty nifty webcomic, so you can read that there. Thats the funniest dissection I've seen of episode 3. I know its to be expected, but sometimes the script in star wars is absolutely rubbish. At one point obi-wan yells

"THE CHANCELLOR IS EVIL!" Anakin's response?

"From my point of view, the jedi are!" From his point of view? Who speaks like that? He's meant to have turned to the dark side, not joined a debating society!

But what the hey. I partially went to see it so I could have popcorn during it. I didn't risk it last time 'cause I knew it would make me want to go to the toilet, and I didn't want to leave during the film. But I went for it. I do love popcorn.

Some people in the cinema clearly were bored. One was sitting behind me, and started kicking my seat. I hate people like that. If you truly do not enjoy a film, then leave. Do not make it your goal to ruin the experience for those who are actually having fun, and have also paid to enter. Its selfishness to assume that if you are not enjoying it then no-one is, and they want to hear your yawning or fidgeting. If you want to do that during a film, then get it out on DVD. It is SO rude, and it is SO disrespectful of other people.



I know, I know, two days without posts, you must be shuddering with withdrawal, you loyal fans you. So heres another post.

As an excuse, and because I don't have much to write about, I'm gonna post a picture of what I was doing friday evening.

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I know, crazy huh? We went on a mini pub crawl. Well, I say pub crawl, but we started at 8:30 and went to 3 pubs, so it was more a pub stagger. Or a pub cra.

The untidiness has started. Whenever revision period comes around I hurl things on the floor with complete disregard, and finally it is starting to build up. Once it has reached critical mass I will take a photo and you can all admire my slobishness. In the meantime, hears a photo of my flatmates fighting.

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These two do this practically every night. Its probably some deep, underlying sexual tension between the two of them. I abstain from joining in on these fights.

Friday, May 27, 2005

Suffering in silence

Over rated. As I briefly mentioned in my last post, I am not one to do so. I certainly didn't today, where the burns all over my body did their best to make me regret my proud proclimation that the money we were raised for charity was worth the damage my skin took.

But yeah, your body tells you you're in pain, you might as well tell everyone else. Hopefully you should get some sympathy, should get you some breaks. If you suffer in silence, you get nothing. Admittedly there is a balance to be had. Constant complaints will net you nothing but hatred, which, while useful in small amounts, is disastorous in large amounts, and will probably lead to the result of even more pain.

But jesus does my neck hurt.

End of lectures today- i've been absolutely exhausted all day, and if I had any sense I would be aleep by now. I don't, so I'm not. I don't have to get up at any particular time tomorrow, which is great, because getting up for anything tomorrow would probably kill me. Well, at least slow me down severely.

So yeah, revision period, which could mean anything- my blog posts could get more or less frequent, higher in quality, lower in quality... I honestly have no idea. I'm also trying to build up the suspense, so you keep on reading. Gotta hit that one thousand hits mark!

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Burn to a crisp

I have burnt my arms, my nose and the back of my neck. I am exhausted, and I will definitely be missing the little get together later on unless I somehow summon the energy in the next hour, which is doubtful. But it was worth it.

Today was the day of the lakeside summer festival! A big name, for a simple idea- we'd have some bands play by the lake, and sell people raffle tickets which would win them drinks automatically (we can't sell drinks, see), all proceeds going to wateraid. It went spendidly- the weather was great, the Parade bar complained but there was nothing we could do, and people bought them drinks. All in all we made over £600 through ticket sales, and probably another £100 through donations. Not bad, not bad at all.

I knew I was gonna burn. It was just obvious really, the sun was beating down, and I don't do well with the sun. But hey, I couldn't leave my post, selling 'dem tickets. So I didn't, and I'll take my pain and suffer (but probably not in silence because i'm not that kind of guy). But yeah, anyone who was at the event or helped who reads this, thanks a lot, you made it awesome.

At the end we got to tidy up. Which was fun. I should probably be excused from physical labour on grounds that I am ridiculously weak, but I suppose that doesn't cut it.

Some people don't respond very well to charity. As I went round at the start, explaning how people could obtain drinks, the lack of enthusiasm was palpable. They gave me looks which just said "leave me along, you awful, awful man", as if Iwasn't explaning how they could get affordable drinks. But they came, after a while when the afternoon got going, they came.

My only major gripe is I didn't get to keep the cool wateraid t-shirt we were all wearing. Never mind.....

Tuesday, May 24, 2005


Its that time again! Yes, i've learnt everything there is to learn, and now its time to actually LEARN it enough so I can pass an exam. I'm not very good at revision. I spend about 10 minutes revising, get bored, and do something else. Its ok if I set myself problems, thats fine, I can get engrossed in that, but learning the meaty content is something else.

Of course, it doesn't help, when, for example, the guy next to you in the quiet study room starts making out with his girlfriend.... OK, I might be exaggerating a little there, they were't flailing at each others clothes or anything, but there were whispered sweet nothing and kissing, which makes it rather difficult to stay focused on hypothesis tests and confidence nipples... urgh intervals, I meant nipples of course! No, intervals!

I dunno, I know what its like, wanting to get it on with your partner practically everywhere, but surely theres some kind of limit! They're in a private study room! The only thing seperaring me between them was a small wooden wall between the desks! For the love of god people, keep your affection for other places!

Anyways, submitted my budget request.Asked for a modest sum, 50 pounds. If they dey that, I will cry, and they won't like me crying, and will feel guilty. Ah ha ha. So yeah. Thats all i've got to say. Well it isn't, but its all I'm going to.

I'm tired of the old shit

Let the new shit begin!

Saw the Eels! They were absolutely brilliant. I... 4 encores, awesome selection of songs played... great stuff.

It was quite a low key gig- mostly with strings and no electric guitars, which led to a more quiet mood. Well, except for one guy, who, every now and then, would scream WOO! It would always be a moment when I was least expecting it, and would scare the hell out of me. And there was the guy who sang along, but couldn't really sing, and sang LOUDER THAN E. And then there was the guy who kept asking his friend what the songs were called (poor friend).

But it was awesome. On the journey there I got to sit opposite a crazy person, who chose to serenade the tube carriage with his off key whistling, which was just beautiful. Hmm, they should have a special carriage for crazy people, where they could all freak each other out. Maybe they could take turns.....

On the way back, due to nothing being open at 11 at night (what IS the world coming to) I had nothing to do, so resorted to sending texts to a stupid amount of people, hoping for a reply (2 of them responded... but to be fair it was 12 a that point). After that I downloaded tetris, which kept me happy for a little at least.

But yeah, you gotta love gigs. Whats great about them is when the artist plays a song, and its absolutely your favourite song in the world, and you know that if you were to play if to your friends they'd listen, maybe call it pretty, but not realy care. But at a gig, theres a good chance that most of the audience would agree with you.

Heh, excuse me, I'm all excited....

Monday, May 23, 2005

Three Speed

(Eels song...) So yeah, very unexciting weekend. After an event packed week, I decided to be boring this weekend, partially because I wanted to catch up on work, and partially cause I wanted to play world o warcraft (I am that cool).

I am beginning to get worried about the exams. There are three in a row, and that is VERY hard to timetable for. I've currently scheduled my revision all in big blocks, but I may change that depending on how I feel- currently most of my stats revision will be done a MONTH before the exam, so I might well have to alter that one.

Of course, we have to make our module choices before doing the exams, which is a little unfair, I feel, as it means that I don't really know how good I am at the subjects. I mightt have if I'd been doing problem sheets, but two courseworks in a row put paid to that, so I am massively behind....

To start off my revision with a bang I'm gonna go see the Eels tomorrow, as I have mentioned countless times. Eee, I am rather excited. Already seen them once before. Its a bit of a way to go, and expensive as I have succeeded in losing my rail card, but it should be worth it. I might get another poster to put on my already overburdened walls.

Hmm, so yeah, not much to talk about, as I have't been doing much. I live the most fascinating of existences....

Saturday, May 21, 2005


I dunno if I'm alone in this, but I feel like talking about it. Generally, albums just "click" for me. My favourite albums are ones that, on first listen, often sound quite poor. Its only after several listens, sometimes as much as 10, before you begin to understand how brilliant the album is. The Eels do that all the time, and indeed have for their newest album Blinking Lights and Other Revelations.

It was weird, listening to it. I was not that impressed initially, but I listened to it nonstop as I'm gonna go see them live on monday, and it grew on me to the point that I love it. Its no Electro Shock Blues, an album of immense beauty, if thats an allowable word to describe an album, but its pretty damn good.

I don't think I'm alone in this, which is weird, 'cause how CAN music get better the more you know it? I suppose you learn to appreciate the little foibles of the music- the crazy feedback just naturally becomes part of the song for you, possibly because you know whats coming next. There are songs thatI adore that I, at the very best, ignored the first time I heard them, maybe even didn't like them that much. Of course, listening to all this non-immediate music as I do probably irritates my housemates when I play it in the main room, but meh, theyre phillistines.

Thats probably why I don't like pop that much- its very immediate, which means that in the long term you just can't get the satisfaction out of the song that you do from something subtle.

This is the first time I've really posted about music, and thats mostly because I don't know the language. I know if I try to describe how I feel about an album, I will tend to go into mundanity and talk about how good it sounds, which is not interesting to read. But I think this is a way to convey how I feel about music.

Hey, I can have reflective moments you know!

Friday, May 20, 2005


A compulsory AGM today (if all I'm talkng about is the SU and star wars that is because it is what my life has been reduced to....). Not sure i'm a fan of compulsory democracy.

Ironically, i was compelled to go this AGM by an amendment to the consitution which we were voting on to ratify... surely they have that one the wrong way round?

Anyways, there was some shit stirred, with talks of insecure online voting, RAG bein destroyed by changes, and.. well actualy those were the main points of consernation. I mostly abstained or voted against the SU, especially on certain issues, but they got through everything they wanted. After one vote, many people just left, which was amsuing, although possibly not very mature (it was suggested that they were just going to their lectures...).

The whole process is ridiculous, of course, voting on what the SU is going to do decided upon by who can or cannot turn up, but what the hey, its democracy in action!

A whole year of this to come....

Star Wars

Actually, it was quite good. No, honestly, I quite enjoyed it. Its certainly the fourth best film. The fight scenes were a lot of fun. Yes, there wasn't the genius that was in the original trilogy, mainly because Lucas had to try and write a lot of non-action scenes, which he is really bad at doing. The scenes between Padme and Anakin were mostly painfully bad apart from some towards the end which betrayed some kinds of emotion. During one scene you could hear the entire cinema actually cringe.....

Still, some fun action, and I think the CGI looked a little better this time (perhaps I am getting used to it). I wasn't disappointed actually, I came out of this film having enjoyed myself, probably because the film ends really quite well.

Seriously though, I think Lucas has got addicted to clever self references. There are a STUPID amount in this film- not only in what the characters say, but also in some of their actual actions! It raised a smile most of the time, but it started to get silly when Yoda was telling Obi-Wan to search his feelings... possibly that wasn't deliberate, but meh.

Still, if you are expecting this to be absolutely awful, you might be pleasently surprised.

Thursday, May 19, 2005

Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun

You know what, it really doesn't work with just Duns.... but imagine thats the Star Wars theme tune. Tonight is the night, I have booked tickets for 8:45, I think I'm gonna splash out and get some popcorn while I'm watching to make it the ultimate experience.

Honestly, I don't think I've ever been this excited about a film. Perhaps about the Phantom Menace, plausibly Matrix Reloaded (hmm, and look how THOSE turned out), but... eeee! The trilogy finally concludes. I've never gone into a film knowing so much about it as I do about this one (apart from adaptions of novels, and those don't really count). It actually can't live up to my expectations. It would have to be so awesome to do that it would cause dancing on the streets. Which would be so cool.

It always surprises me when I find someone who hasn't seen the original trilogy. I know they exist, but it feels like they were abused as children: surely one of the most important things a parent can do for their child is raise them on the proper films, and Star Wars is definitely one of them. Princess Bride is another, but not everyone has heard of its true majesty, so thats forgivable. Star Wars though, people need to watch it.

You can tell from reviews which people saw Star Wars late in life. Those who talk about the awful scripts for the original trilogy, about the cliche, about how Star Wars created the whole blockbuster mentality for hollywood, in their opinion ruining it forever, just DON'T GET THE POINT. Its freaking STAR WARS! It defined a generation! Its so ridiculously ingrained in popular culture that the only thing to remotely rival its grip on our conciousness is the Simpsons (and one of the best episodes was when they spoofed star wars).

I know, as I have said before, that I will be disappointed. Doubtlessly I will post so tomorrow. But for now, I shall bask.

Wednesday, May 18, 2005


Sorting out stuff for next year at the moment, it turns out being Chair of a society actually involves one working, which is a rather appalling thing to discover, having signed on for the cv boosting advantages, of course.

But yeah, the SU is moored in beuracracy. Thing is, is if something goes wrong, the SU are liable for it, so to cover themselves there are endless forms for us to fill in. The budget request form is a particular masterpiece. I am meant to be able to predict what events I am running next year. Right. This is meant to be a fun organisation for some students at Bath, I have no intention of forcing a long term plan down their throats, and also what we are able to do depends on the number and activity of our members. Never mind though, I suspect this is something I will have to get used to.

Next, of course, is the discovery that what we can actually spend the budget on is hideously limited. We cannot pay for any speakers to come, which is a huge shame, as it means we miss out on most quality speakers- I think we might be able to pay for transport costs, but even that is not sure. We can pay for our own transport costs, I think, although not for the socials are selves.

So yeah, obviously I wil have to think of things we will spend our budget on, otherwise we won't get one- or get a really small one- and that would be quite the tragedy.

Whats also great, is, apparently, we have to get risk assesment for everything. This includes, for example, baking a cake. We have to get a risk assesment slip filled in if we want to bake a cake and then sell it (or eat it amoungst ourselves). ARGH!

I think my biggest bugbear along with this is we have to write a constitution for the society. Thats ridiculous. Its stupid students playing silly games of democracy. This is a tiny little society, led by the most active members. We do not need to make sure that there is a method to remove the leaderhsip, we do not need to make sure there are proper channels for people to go through! Its not real! Its just a little society which hopefully can make a small impact on the student body! We don't need a bloody consitution! The UK hasn't got one, for crying out loud!

Oh well, have to suck it up, I suppose, as if we don't keep up with all this the SU will destroy our society. Which would be a tad depressing.


Whats the plural of clitoris? Just a random question that occured to me the other day. Is it clitorises? Clitorii? Or is it, like sheep, clitoris? I know the plural of penis is penises, or at least I'm pretty sure it is, don't ask me how exactly I know, but somehow I do.

Not that its important, of course- I suspect I am not going to need to refer to a plural amount of clitoriseseses in the near future anyhow. This topic occured to me the other day when I was talking about orgy limits. I figured if I ruled the world then I would invent random laws. For example, orgies would be fully permitted, but there would be a limit at 20. There would be no reason given for this, mostly because there isn't one, just 20 sounds like a good number. This law would be strictly enforced, however, with police raids at places suspected to go over the limit. Other laws would include people would be legally allowed to break into houses, as long as they did it with their eyes closed screaming "I'm a pumpkin fairy!" at the top of their lungs. The owner of the house would then be allowed to pummel them senseless, but only with cake.

And I wonder why they haven't made me king yet.....

Monday, May 16, 2005

Ben is a cheeky swine

As per my last post, Ben has posted this particular image of me

oh ha ha

Curse his very amusing black heart. You really should check out his blog, by the way, at http://weallloveexcelsaga.blogspot.com it is rather good.

Sunday, May 15, 2005


Theres a certain art to flaming. For those who don't know what it is, it is, essentially, insulting someone else, usually on a mesage board or forum, but someties in a chat room. Doing this will usually get you banned or at least warned in that particular forum.

However, you CAN get away with it. The best way to do this is to own the message board or chat room in question. Even then, of course, you do not want to drive others away- so you must choose your target carefully. The person to be flamed, must, ideally, be unable to type, as no-one who truly dwells on the internet actually likes internet speak. Next, they must also express opinions at about the level of a 5 year old. Luckily, these people tend to be in abundence over the entire internet.

Then you can flame. The truly inventive will generally use photoshop for true power, doing such genuinely inventive things such as shopping the flamee's head to a donkey, and making it say "pwned!". This will cause great amusement for all, and your internet respect will increase, possibly by even three points.

Whats great about this, is of course that the more respect you gain, the more you can get away with, until you become so respected that you can flame everyone on the board, and all they do is chuckle. And once you do that, why, you will become a GOD!

Saturday, May 14, 2005


I am now, officially, a bowling god. 104 points, and I beat everyone on my lane. Hah! Thats right, 5 other people cowered before my superior bowling skills!

And I was a bit drunk too (I was a LOT drunk later in the evening), so that makes me all the more awesome.

I bowl in a very odd style. Nicknamed the Grandpa by some friends when I first used it, it involves walking right up to the line, aiming very carefully, and then throwing. It only really works with a light ball, as they seem to be less affected by the random spin that I accidentally put on it.

Admittedly this is not an impresive style of bowling when everyone else is running up to the lane and hurling, but then they all got lower scores than I did, so I clearly rule.

As well as bowling, we went drinking, going to the Huntsman again (well, its a nice pub!), where we set up the tables in a ridiculous order so as to fit the large amounts of us that there were. I suggested that we go watch Cube after it shut, but my friends suck a little bit, and THEY were tired. Losers.

People also played slapsies. Which is an odd game, seeing as there is no win condition, other than the other person giving up because their hands hurt too much. Call me crazy, but I don't think of that as quality entertainment. I mean, sure, pain can be part of a game sometimes, but.... the sole point of it? I suppose theres the dodging part of the game too.

Of course, thats not quite as pointless as this electrocution game Laura(a friend from back home) brought to a party once. You and three friends put a finger into it, and then you press a button, and it gives one of you a mild electric shock. Thats IT. Whats up with that? What was odd was when I was mocked for not playing. I was called a "wuss." For not giving myself a 1 in 4 odd of getting shocked for absolutely no gain (apart from, perhaps, the gain of respect from drunken people, something I always secretly crave.)Maybe I'm just not hip enough for this.

Friday, May 13, 2005

Drinking chess!

I lost my first game of drinking chess yesterday. That makes it 2-1 to me against Paul. To be honest, after an initial mistake that left me a piece behind, I sort of stopped trying very hard, and went crazy, in the "hey, I'll just check him!" kind of style that desperate players know and love. But meh, it meant I had to drink less of that foul, foul peach archers stuff.

I really shouldn't be doing shots. I am not one of natures downers, my bodies quite strong reaction is to retch, and I have to fight it to take any shot, especially ones as disgusting as... actually all shots are pretty bad, but if I had to choose i'd probably be shooting rum. Or maybe whisky. But, as I didn't want to get totally wasted, having to get up this morning after all, I decided something at the 20% margin would be appropriate. And Paul doesn't like Malibu, the swine, leaving archers (those being the only 20% drinks in existence. Actually true).

Anyways, we went out to town, to Babylon, where the music was alternative, and by altenrative I mean everyone hit their guitars and shouted, to produce music where, if you gouged out your ears first, you could dance too. So we left, and instead skulked in a pub, like a skulky thing. Anyways, I'm going bowling tonight! A fun packed weekend indeed.

Thursday, May 12, 2005

Why do work?

When one can browse the internet and post inanities at www.uff9.net/forums ....

[and, indeed, why finish updating ones blog...]

I will have to get some work done soon, however, as exams are finally looming, and I'm starting to get a little bit worried. But only a litle bit. My first exam is June 6th, which is closer than one might think, although right now I'm only anticipating a week of wonder. On may 19th Star Wars episode 3 comes out. On may 23rd the Eels are playing, and I'm seeing them live at the royal festival hall in London. And on the 25th, one world are organising a charity event where there will be beer and bands. Huzzah!

So yeah, not really thinking about exams.... well I am now, and I've managed to get myself worried. Never mind... I'll get some work done on the weekend. The weekend on which we are celebrating Paul's birthday.... shut up brain, you're not wanted here.

Theres... a word verification box at the bottom of this draft page. I have absolutely no idea why, and it seems as if I can post without typing it in. Perhaps it is all part of some kind of elaborate ploy to get my credit details. I am usually wise to the standard scams (including a crafty one from ebay mocked up very convincingly, which was good, but considering you never GIVE credit details to ebay, this was a slight flaw in the con-mans plans), so they must think oif something particularly cunning to outsmart me.

Wednesday, May 11, 2005


I was wondering the other day, in my semi-random way, how many people have to name a thing a thing before it becomes that.

For example, if I personally was to call a clock a banana, I would probably be ridiculed, and possibly locked in a small room with white walls (the toilet). However, if the entire world called the clock a banana, one would be perfectly justified in calling it so. This, one can certainly reduce down to nationwide level, as languages clearly show that, but what about proportions of the country? Communities can do it. Cockneys, scousers, and others can name things crazy and cooky names, and that is fine. Is it alright if just a group of friends call something something? Certainly that works for names, I respond to K, Kil, and, if Toby is feeling like a swine, joke.

I'm not sure theres a particular point when a word becomes accepted lingo. If over half the community says it, is it a word for that community? Perhaps, if they are the influential half. Perhaps thats what its all about. Words come from trendsetters.

I think what you've got to be impressed by are people like the Greeks and the Romans. See, practically every word in European language just stems from greek or roman words, like television (sound-light), this extends even to basic animals. So how did the romans come up with their language? Doubtlessly they stole it from even earlier people, which makes me think that theres some kind of great conspiracy, and we never actually named anything, just stole the names from someone else. Not sure how exactly that would work, probably with aliens....

It really annoys me when people suggest that aliens (or indeed) God, could be used to explain the existence of intelligence. The idea of intelligent design is clearly flawed if you think about it. Its central thesis is that intelligence is so damn difficult to create, the only thing that can create it is intelligence. Therefore, their bizzare intuitive leap is, aliens or God made us. No, therefore paradox. If you can demonstrate that intelligence can only be created by intelligence, then intelligence cannot exist. Its not the most complex of ideas, surely. God explains nothing, because you must explain him. Sure, believe in God if you must, but don't pretend he can be part of a scientific theory. He explains nothing, so whats his point, other than something to comfort you from the realisation that your life probably actually is meaningless, and when you die, thats probably it.

Of course, while I suspect both to be the case, I don't really believe that, but I know my belief that there might be something after I die is merely a self protective measure, rather than a truism....

Hmph, it does tire me though, that one has to fight these battles about evolution. Religon should get its ugly litle head out of science- it has no place there, it hasn't since the 15th century. It cannot win a logical, rational argument, and as thats the basis for science, it really shouldn't try. Unfortunately, people are not logical, and so they often respond to the ridiculous hand waving arguments that creationists so often do.

But meh. Its odd, that some of the biggest injustices that I rail about, homophobia and the creation/evolution, and contraceptive debates, are often engineered by those of faith, yet I hold little bile for organised religon itself. I mean, I do a bit, I think it would be a better world with atheists, but I do like some of the things religon preaches. Specifically, it is being a big part of the monumental make poverty history campaign, although, odddly, more so in the UK than the US. You'd think a country of faith, as the US appears to be, might have a more active campaigns against one of the greatest injustices today, but... hmm.

Ah well, we need a paradigm shift in the US as there has been in the UK. And I love any excuse to say "paradigm shift". Maybe I should go into managment....

Damn goggles

The only problem with swimming I have is goggles. I really do enjoy swimming, as I have mentioned before, and, specifically, I enjoy swimming underwater. I spend a large amount of swimming time with my head underwater, enough so, if I had my eyes closed, I would collide with everyone and everything in that pool. So I have to have my eyes open underwater. I used to not wear goggles, and the chlorinated water would DESTROY my vision for the day, and cause me great pain when I was exposed to anything resembling light.

So yeah, wearing goggles it is. They were quite a pain with long hair, with a tendency to get hair caught in them, but they're still less of a pain now. Unfortunately, I was cheap when I bought my current pair, and they're too tight, leaving me horrible red weals around my eyes. Which, believe it or not, isn't the most appealing thing in the world. Still, theres no-one that I really want to impress that much on a wednesday afternoon, my main goal being to get some work done before I succumb to laziness and sit around reading webcomics...

So I suppose its not THAT inconvinient. But its a pain, and things that cause me pain deserve pain! Not sure how exactly I will inflict pain on a pair of goggles, but I'll find a way.

Monday, May 09, 2005

They're not fit to lick your boots

Sarcasm over the internet is the new sarcasm. Its really easy to detect sarcasm in person. Generally, most people put on a tone while being sarcastic. So if someone does not notice sarcasm, they are open for more mockery. (or, if they are truly clueless, blatant sarcasm to the point of the ridiculous. Once my cousin walked in to my aunt painting the wall blue

"Are you painting the wall blue?" She asked

"Nope, pink."


However, internet sarcasm is far more subtle. The only possible way to detect sarcasm online is to divine from the conversation at hand, and the person speaking, as to whether they are sarcastic. I wonder if one day it will become incredibly easy to detect sarcasm (without some kind of "sarcastic type font" or something) online,a and those will get just as mocked as in real life. If that is the case, I must endevour to not be one of those foolish mortals who is mocked.

Saturday, May 07, 2005

An ode to Ms K

Whatever happened to Ms K? One of three regular commenters, and one of the few people to stumble across this blog who I didn't actualy already know, and now she has gone!

So I composed this ode. Entitled "Ode to Ms K" (incidentally, I suspect ode is an actual poem. But this... isn't)

Oh Ms K,
Why did you go away?
Are you very bizay?
There are so many things I need to say!
Please come back.. ay.

I'm a natural poet.

Friday, May 06, 2005

A good results

The counts are in, and Labours won. Great. With a heavily reduced majority. Excellent. Owing mainly to protest votes to liberal democrat. Brilliant! The labour party underestimated the response the war on Iraq would have. Fact is, without that, there was a reasonable chance that they might have sailed through yesterdays election once again, but they, or rather Mr Blair, made that choice.

It is surely obvious that Blair is a hindrance rather than a help to the party- its time to replace him. I have to admit, I was worried that the conservatives would win yesterday, a thought which horrified me, as most conservative gains were were Labour votes had swung to lib dems in lab-cons marginals. But it didn't happen, thank god, and if it had happened it would have been nobody but Blair's fault.

Still, a historic (or an, if you are going to use the slightly antiquated pronounciation that everyone seems to be on the news) third term for Labour, first the party have ever had. What it means, who can tell. Hopefully, it will lead to be better democracy this parliament, with the peoples voice actually mattering because back bench rebellions can finally work. And hopefully it will mean if a war on Iran happens, we will not be part of it.

And the liberal democrats gained 10 seats.... thing is, I don't see how they're really gonna hold that many more. They keep going on about becoming the second party, but whos place are they going to take? Because the people of the left want a left party in power, and they know that party is labour. I think we are tired of being the natural party of opposition.

The big thing I am pleased about is the support for the Make Poverty History campaign. Labour were the first to make noises about this, and both Brown and Blair want to end the suffering in Africa. If we were able to do this, or at least make large steps toward it, this truly would be a century to remember.

Thursday, May 05, 2005

Voting day!

so, voting day today. I have not voted yet, but I have been informed that the polls are open until 10, so rest assured that my vote will be severely placed. With extra bile.

Actually, I could, in all probability, if I had the means or the inclination, vote twice, as I am registered in two parts of the country, and they don't really check it (or at least, they didn't use to anyways). But seeing that it would be an over 6 hour journey round trip to place my second vote in the safest conservative seat in the country... and it would be illegal... I will give it a miss this time.

What exactly is the penalty for voting twice? As fraud goes, its hardly the highest level kind, but it is of course rather wrong. Hmm, I would look it up, but as its a crime I really have no intention of committing then its not really worth it. Unless the penalty is something like a slap on the wrist (literally), because it probably WOULD be worth it. Still, the benefits really have to overwhelmingly outweigh the risks to make crime worth it, ignoring, of course, the tricksy moral issues that probably lie hidden somewhere.

As I said yesterday, I'll say again, you should vote. It would take you an hour now to look at the parties manifestoes (briefly), and that would probably make you more well informed than the average voter. I don't care who you vote for (lib dem or labour, damnit), just vote!

You can tell how highly voting features in my mind, when, yesterday, Toby said "Kieran, big day tomorrow!"

My response was "What.... oh, its the thursday student guardian!"


"Oh... and the election, yeah...."

But I do care, honestly!

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

Orange Juice

I was looking at a carton the other day, and noticed a warning on it. I won't quote it verbatim, because I can't, but it essentially said that little kids shouldn't have too much of these sugary drinks, and they should be encouraged to have more water and squash.

Now, I remember reading this on orange juice, and indeed many juices. Why do they get singled out? Kids get fed burgers at mcdonalds, why isn't there a huge sign telling parents that that isn't in any way healthy? Kids down coca cola, why isn't there a label on it telling parents that it will DESTROY their teeth? And their souls, most likely. Pressure from the companies, most liklely. Kinda makes you sad for the nice, wholesome orange juice which is forced to have that warning sign.

Incidentally, if you haven't seen Super Size Me, you really should. There are many other reasons to not go to McDonalds (you think the animals those burgers came from were in ANY way well treated?), but this presents a compelling argument. Well, it doesn't say not to go to mcdonalds, just not much, and that things need to change with the way people market products.

I mean, we're talking about messing with kids here. Sweden, I believe, bans advertising for under 12 years olds. Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. These children are our future, and we are turning them into consumer whores.

Election tomorrow! Vote! Vote! Vote!

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

On Spam and security

I just wrote an entire post about Something Positive, my favourite webcomic online (do yourself a favour and read it), before realising, that, in fact, I have already done so.... but I can't find it. Well, I mean I can find a post about it, but not.... oh its probably my first webcomic a day thing isn't it....

Well, never mind. I'm missing a chance to grill the political candidates for Bath today to go to an Amnesty meeting instead, which shows how committed I am. Well, as I am going to be chair next year, I probably should go to the meetings. It would be poor form not to, really. Hmph, I really wanted to grill the conservative candidate about their insane asylum policies.

Incidentally, if you get an invite to join an SMS passport, for the love of god don't agree! Its just a way for you to sign up to endless spam, and also other people when it asks for their email addresses. I have already been invited to join about 4 different people's mobile network. As I understand it, a mobile network is something that should be confined to phones.

The same goes for that infernal crushmaster thingy. Does anyone remember that? Some moron somewhere would say they had a crush on someone, then THAT person would enter in every goddamn address in their book, meaning everyone else would get an email saying they had a crush on them.... urgh, that was frustrating, although they finally seem to have left me alone. I suspect thats due to bankcrupcy rather than anything else, as I'm not completely sure how such a site made money. Perhaps by selling email addresses to other websites....

Spam must surely cost a bit of money to run. Do people make a profit off such things? One would assume so, otherwise they wouldn't exist (or therein lies capatilist theory), but I can't imagine many people getting an email selling them whatever they're selling them (breast implants seems to be top... surely people don't picmk where to have breast implants from email?). I also get emails telling me that I should enlist to help homeland security, and much as I'd LIKE to secure the US (the homeland sounds oddly like the motherland, oddly. Perhaps one day the glorious communist revolution WILL happen), I'm not sure how much good I can do here. Listen out for terrorist plots to attack the US using Bath university technology? I suppose, but considering our top courses are maths and sports, I suppose we could calculate the trajectory of some thrown shot putts pretty damn accurately. That'd be a novel act of terrorism.

Remember after September 11th and experts were going on tv and talking about all the different ways terrorists could attack us? Surely that was a bad idea? I mean, some of these plans were pretty inventive, and I doubt your run of the mill terrorist had though of them all, and now you've just told them all.

Of course, post september 11th security wasn't always great. I remember, two days day after (the day before, if I remember correctly, I decided would be the perfect oppurtunity to ask the lovely Charlotte out. She said no....) I went on a politics trip to London. On the way into an office for many of the MP's, we were all properly searched and let in. Halfway through a tour, a fire alarm went off (set off, apparently, by a toaster), and we marched out... to be let back in again with no security checks whatsoever.

Hmm, I've probably given the hundreds of terrorists who read this blog ideas now (they account for all the hits, ya see.....)

Monday, May 02, 2005

Immune system, don't fail me now

I am living in a house of flu. Both of my housemates have come down with in the last few days, Paul the worst (life determined to punish Paul for... uh....being tall I suppose). So far I have resisted, my immune system clearly being more robust (I'm not about to claim to be the most hygenic, as that would be a blatant lie), although my soup supplies have suffered a drop in supply as the foolhardy Fred and Paul had a lack (always, always have a stock of soup around the house. Easy to cook, nutritious, good for illness, practically the only thing you might force down with a stomach bug.... Soup is genius).

So yeah, fortune appears to have smiled on me in that aspect, so big up to an anthromorphic representation of the consequences of the laws of the universe. Incidentally, isn't christianity one of the most egotistical relgions around? God made man in his own image? Yeah right, you're an omnipotent super being and the form you choose to spend most of your time is that of MAN? I mean, if I was God, I'd go for the T-rex. Now theres some majesty, and some intimidation for the blasphemer. The Hindus have got that many armed elephant God, (Vishnu is it?), so good on them, as thats pretty big. Actually, I might take the form of a delicious vegetable curry, and then eat myself. I'm not sure if I was a being with all powers I would really need humans to entertain me. Maybe I'd have them as a side project, as I suppose its real neat to have worshipers, but generally cooking myself extravagent meals and enjoying them would be awesome.

Though, perhaps I am being unfair on christianity. A lot of religons are egotistical, and probably the non-egotistical ones are the exception rather than the rule. Although I'm saying this without full evidence. I haven't actually checked out every religon ever, as I imagine there are quite a few, especially if I include cults (but those do tend to involve worshipping the leader of the organisation, so yeah, pretty egotistical).

Incidentally, if I don't get the flu now, it will PROVE God does not exist. If I do, that'll just be meaningless coincidence, of course.

Sunday, May 01, 2005

Hitchikers Guide to the Galaxy

The earth explodes, the theme tune cuts in, and the Hitchikers guide to the galaxy floats across the screen. A little tear comes to my eye.....

That was probably my favourite bit in the entire film, apart from every single bit with Marvin, who was awesome. This is a good film. Its got a fair bit of the flavour of the books, and is reasonably funny. The only problem is, is that I know the books intensively well. I know the radio series pretty well, and I've seen the television series several times through (look out for the in-jokey marvin in the vogon queue). None of them, to be fair, are quite the same as each other- the plots vary from each other, depending on exactly what Douglas wanted to do.

So changing the plot for the film, I suppose, is fair enough. But changing the characters? Sorry, but Arthur and Trillian never had a chance of romance. The whole point of Hitchikers guide is how pathetic Arthur is, at least, to begin with. Admittedly, he does get it on in So Long and Thanks for all the Fish, in my opinion the best book of the series, but thats after hes learned and changed. I dunno, that just frustrated me somewhat- I don't think Hitchikers has a need for a romance, but I suppose that theres got to be some central thread to what were admittedly very chaotic (and actually, apart from the afore mentioned So long, very bleak) books, but meh.

Still, there was some good imagining of the characters- Alan Rickman as Marvin, and Stephen Fry as the book were genius. I dunno, I had to see it because it was another part of the Hitchikers story. I mean, I have played on the text based adventure game! Which, incidentally, is excessively hard. But I suppose I would reccomend going to see it.