Lies, Damn Lies
Sunday, October 31, 2004
An interesting evening.So she phoned. Or rather, she texted, at about 6, to say "Do you still want to do something this evening?-Jo." Which was highly amusing considering the context its in... anyway, so I suggested a meal, and yea, we arranged to meet in an hour.
Which led to francitness for me as I realised that I....didn't really know how to iron things..... which was a blow. A crash course, and I ironed my shirt, discovered my black trousers had some kind of stain, picked my black jeans instead, brushed teeth and headed out. She was early, which is odd for me, as all through my life I have got to places before everyone else...
Anyway, so we went and had a meal at an oriental restaurant, and then went to see the Life and Death of Peter Sellers. Which, incidentally, is a pretty good movie. Some of its contrivances are a little odd, and it has a very interesting view on Sellers, which I won't spoil. But yeah, it went ok with Jo. We will probably be doing something again.
My problem is of course, is a complete inability to read signals. I can read lots into minor things and little into major things, making me confused and foolish. So I tend to play it safe. This whole world of dating is a scary place, you know?
Saturday, October 30, 2004
Sometimes I laugh, Sometimes I cry....Anyone remember that song by Britney? Where she told us how she cried cried cried in her lonely heart? What was the point of that song? Was she trying to make us feel sorry for her? I never bought that. Lonliness is a horrible thing, and I hate it, but to be honest, its better to be lonely and fantastically rich than to be lonely and merely reasonably well off, as so many of us are. Not to minimise her pain, I mean I'm sure she hurts just like the rest of us, but thats my point. She hurts just like the rest of us.
We all have the tendency, myself definitely included, to think of our pain as unique. It isn't. Everyone suffers, in their unique little ways. There will be periods of your life in which you are happy, but there will still be things that get you down. Fer crying out loud, you only have to look around at the horrible injustice in the world we live in to allow pain to creep into your existence.
People having more pain does not invalidate your pain, but it should put it in perspective. I mean, sometimes we can't avoid going on at our friends about what we are feeling, despite the fact that, odds are, they are feeling it, or have felt it, too. But we have to learn to understand that a lot of people do not want to hear about your pain. Yes, if you are really suffering then the best thing for you to do is let it all out, but a lot of pain, a lot of teenage day to day pain, is something that sharing will do nothing but annoy your friends.
I dunno what I mean by this- I think everyone has a right to grieve, of course, but there are limits..... in the end, there is suffering all around us. As said so eloquently in the Princess Bride, "Life is pain." But theres some also happiness there too, if you care to look for it.
Huh, this was going to start out as a moan about Jo not having phoned.....oh the irony.
Nervous WreckShe hasn't phoned yet, as the title implies. But uhh, she could be planning to phone in the evening. Or not at all.... so..... sigh.
Oh well, I'll wile away the time reading webcomics- I've discovered a GREAT new comic- www.questionablecontent.net you will want to read it from the start to make sense of its true glory. The haloween cartoon on www.homestarrunner.com is up, thats always good for a laugh, and if you go to the sometimes amusing www.newgrounds.com and search for decline of video gaming 2, you're sure for a very amusing experience. If you like video games at all, that is. If you don't then you should, because they're great.
Apart from the bad video games, of course....
Hmm, on the subject of video games, Half Life 2 is coming out in November. I have been anticipating its release for a long time, but not enough to buy a computer that can run it. Thanks to my graphics card, which is very, very poor, I can barely run any game which dares to put itself into a shiny pretty 3D mode. I actually meet minimum specs for Half Life 2, but those do tend to be lies to entice people to buy it and then realise they can't play it and then they can't return it cause they've opened the packet (some game stores DO have that policy, which is untenable really.) It looks very good though, almost enough for me to blow my loan on a new computer. If it wasn't for the fact that I'd have to explain that to my parents, I think I would do. Also, I like purchasing alchohol too, and a computer would limit that. Although, who would need alchohol? I'd have Half Life 2......
Sigh, Id really quite like to see Finding Neverland, but I doubt I can persaude my friends to come too. Its about the guy who wrote Peter Pan, who's name I have completely forgotten, and is meant to be very moving. I doubt that will appeal to be Fred, who's motto is "If there aint explosions, it aint good." Or it should be anyway. I'm sorrounded by phillistines. Jeff tried to getus to go see Exorcist:The Beginning. If theres one film that could be worse than Resident evil 2, I suspect that would be it. Amusingly, the reason Fred rejected it was not because it was obviously going to be rubbish, but because he didn't like the first exorcist. As if there will be ANY similarities. I didn't point out the error of his ways as they suited my purposes. I am an evil genius.
Play it cool...So devoted to the fans of this blog that I'm posting at 2 in the morning......
Heh, I'm getting up early(ish) tomorrow just so I can have a few extra hours of nervousness. Well, that and I bought GTA:San Andreas today, and its pretty awesome. There aren't THAT many changes from Vice City, but the music is superior, and theres a few cute tweaks to it that are kind of cool. You can also be a pimp, which is always great. Thing is, I was playing with my flatmates watching, and while normally I'll happily butcher people and think nothing of it (in game damnit, in game!) I kind of feel guilty when I do it with others watching. Not the police though. Or enemy gangsters. Or the army......
I have a conscience, its just I like to surpress it now and then and go on a rampage. Because we all feel like that sometimes, don't we? The game is my kind of consolation if Jo doesn't call, so the people of the virtual world better hope she does, otherwise they are deaaaad.
I was quite impressed with myself earlier today. I admitted what everyone thinks in a tutorial, but doesn't admit. I hadn't a clue how to do one of the questions. I think its maybe cause theres no-one I know in the tutorial group. Its insane! I don't have a huge social circle, but you'd think I'd know one or two. I mean, I know them to look at, but not to talk to. Some of them I don't even know to look at, which is a tiny bit disturbing. In my defense there are 200 of 'em, and some of them might actually be genuinely enthusiastic about maths, which is not the sort of person I normally associate with....
Thursday, October 28, 2004
She'll phone on Saturday.....Argh, my post just vanished. Thank you blogger.com!
Well, to reiterate what I was saying, I asked a girl out yesterday, in my normal, eloquent, smooth, super cool manner
"Uh, do you think uh,,dfhfhhf that,uh, yeah, uh sorry, yes, uh do you wanna go on a date.... with me"
For some reason I felt I needed to add the "with me" part, as if that wasn't implied. Who was it gonna be for, my pet rodent Rodney? I don't have a pet rodent Rodney, but now I wish I do. Anyways, she said yes (yeah sure if you want the exact details, you Kieran fans, you), so I took her phone number. Phoning her later- her phone was off.....
So yeah, I asked her about this today, and apparently she doesn't use her phone much. I can believe that, as well I used to be the same, but meh. Anyway, she said she'd phone on Saturday......
Which of course gives her power over me, which is a blow. The little power I did wield in this... thing... has gone. When I informed Colm, the ever supportive, of her comments, his response was "HA HA SHE'S NEVER GONNA PHONE YOU"
Which made me feel gooooood. So yeah, he may well be right, but I hope hes wrong. But there are so many factors to consider.... even if she does WANT to contact me, she may be unable to because I've got the wrong number or someting.... argh. All I can do is hope, which is a depressing state to be in. If she does phone on Saturday I will be stupidly overjoyed, this I know. If she doesn't phone.....
Wednesday, October 27, 2004
John PeelJohn Peel passed away yesterday, aged 65, from a heart attack. I'm sure I'm not alone in feeling this is a great loss for our nation. We may never see his likes again.
Tuesday, October 26, 2004
Amnesty part 2:the die inI was dead today. And my was it fun. It kicked off a little late, and I was lucky enough to not be picked as one of the initial corpses. When I say lucky everyone volunteered. So less lucky, more of a bastard. But instead I did vitally important things, like fixing the cameras and campaigning. I'm pretty sure I got several people to come to the stall who wouldn't have, although I suspect I might have driven away a few who would have........ nah, they wouldn't have gone anyway. There were a few people who seemed to actually be happy with the arms industry the way it is, and there were the lazy ones who go "I've just got to do something and then I'll be right back...." and never returned.
Soon it neared one thirty, and I was feeling vaguely smug that I wasn't being a corpse. So, of course, I got roped into being a corpse at that point. Sigh. My back still aches, and in the lecture following I couldn't write for a while because my arm had gone dead! Still, all in a good cause. All in all we got 217 people to sign up for the petition, which is awesome. If you want to sign up for the petition yourself please go to www.controlarms.org . They can give you far more info than I can, but bear in mind this is a treaty to limit arms sales, not to stop them completely. Merely to stop corrupt dictatorships, like Iraq's back in the 80s getting weapons from western nations. So yeah, sign up- what harm can it do? If its difficult to upload a photo you can draw a picture.
Oh, and remember www.thehungersite.com
No offence but.....I'd love to see someone say "no offence but" and end the sentence with something that wasn't actually horribly offensive. Its an excuse really. Its like "I'm not racist but." I'm not racist but we'd be much safer if all foreigners were locked up. Sorry, but its cheating. People who say "I'm not racist but" should probably be shot on general principles.
So, arms control......
Heh, yeah, well maybe not shot, but.... educated. With a red hot poker.
So banning torture.......
Monday, October 25, 2004
Predictive textI'm so over bursting with enthusiasm for this whole internet buisness that I'm gonna throw an insane amount of rants at you. Honestly, this has made me stupidly happy. 1.5 mbps connection in my own room. Sigh, I'm in heaven.
Uh, yeah, I use predictive text, partly because I don't really know how to turn it off. This can lead to me, when lazy or drunk, making stupid messages because I don't read through them. As happened when Toby sent a random annoying text at me, and I thought I responded
"One of these days I will snap and kill you."
But in fact I said
"One of these days I will soap and kill you" .
Which in a way is much more frightening. I should really turn predictive text off
INTERNET!!!Finally, our router arrived and with it, my opportunity to spend long evenings doing nothing but chatting online. Which everyone needs. Everyone. Why have a real social life when you can have a virtual one? It is significantly cheaper.
Of course, because its me, the installation of the router could hardly be smooth. I was informed that I would need to enter a 12 digit code to connect. Which is insane. I copied it down, and headed upstairs. No only did I have to write out the password, for some annoying reason it asked for it twice! So double the chance for a mistake. Which of course I made first time round.
Finally getting it right, I was then connected to the network.... apart from I didn't recieve anything. I couldn't get into the internet. I nearly cried. I reinstalled the driver, fiddled with settings, read through trouble setter, headed downstairs to see if my card was too short range.... Where I discovered that I had, in fact, entered my password in wrong. Thing is, is it does not tell you that you got the password wrong. It just ignores you! Fred, who was almost promoted to godlike flatmate for a while, almost sinks to loserish flatmate again for not mentioning this to me. So much heartbreak, so much agony....
But I have the internet now so... yay.
Money money moneyAh, abba eh? I actually went to see the Abba musical a while back, and it was surprisingly good. I dunno, I kind of liked Abba back then though, which isn't really the case now. I can't say I want to see the Queen musical. Or the boy George musical. Honestly, they've kind of run out of ideas, haven't they? I mean, if you are going to be a musical writer you'd think that you'd want to write your own music really, rather than just using someone elses. Its hardly like the plots of musicals are generally awe inspiring. But the Abba musical WAS quite good.
Anyway, I digress. I have been spending a lot of money this month. Far too much. My self imposed goal has been failed completely. Partly the problem is that I'm paying by card rather than cash (debit card. I'm not insane), which means I don't see how much money I have left that much, so I don't get scared. In my defense though, currently my flatmates owe me £70 and www.dabs.com owes me £60. With the return of these I'll be doing.... alright. Its jsut I don't get money for a while, and the month has some time left..... Sob. I could, of course, avoid going out, which I may do, but avoiding eating is a trickier proposition.
On the eating front, its going well. Yesterday I had steak, which was great, but for only a few drawbacks. The steak itself was out of date. I had frozen it however. The day after it had gone off, but that surely isn't the point. Well, ok maybe, just maybe it is. But theres no way I was gonna throw away steak, damnit! Along the way I noticed I had left a plate so long that it had grown mold. We have no hot water now, so I can't clean it properly either. But I made my lunch on it because it looked clean......
And I wonder how my housemates caught my cold. To be fair we DO use seperate plates so they don't eat my bacteria. Clearly very hygenic. Clearly......
Die for your countryHeh, its the die in tomorrow. I will be lying dead on the parade to awaken peoples awareness about arms control (www.controlarms.org sumbit your picture to the million faces petition!). Having agreed to the idea with full enthusiasm a whole week ago, in the cosy sorroundings of fellow amnesty members, I didn't consider the obvious drawbacks. Cold, boredom, and in all probability, wetness will be experiences I will be lucky enough to get. Not to mention crippling back pain, or the ever existing possibility of some of my less supportive friends (I'm thinking of you, Paul!) coming over and kicking me while I'm down.
Of course, the most amusing part of the day will be the lecture afterwards in which I shall look like the living dead. Maybe I could scare off the lecturer......
Sunday, October 24, 2004
Avoiding workThe internet is a wondefful way to do this, although to be honest in the line of duty of avoiding work, going downstairs to get a drink and getting distracted by the question of just how many blades of grass there are in the garden is often quite effective too.
Today I've been using the wonderful resource of www.homestarunner.com whuch everyone should check out, especially the strong bad emails. Learn of trogdors majesty! I also discovered a cute little puzzle http://www.fasco-csc.com/ you have to escape a room in each one. They're really, really hard, but persevere and you will feel good. Well, apart from the blue room. That kinda sucks.
So as you can tell, its been a fun filled, packed day for me. Apparently though I have spread my illness to my flatmates, which is great because misery loves company. I think its the freshes fault you know. Last year there was virtually no illness and suddenly the whole year is bad off. Some contagious fresher has been spreading his disease! Sickening.
Our showers not fixed. We don't actually have much hot water at all now, not even for washing up. Today I had a bath. In water so shallow that it couldn't cover my toes. Barely wetted them. Instead I reluctantly put my head under the freezing cold shower head. Urgh.
Hmm, American elections are looming close, and worryingly Bush is winning. Have a large proportion of Americans had a collective lobotomy? How can anyone favour Bush.... unless they run a large multinational, that is. Sigh, sometimes the world is so depressing. Don't get me started on our lot.
Resident Evil 2: ApocalypseSo, against my better judgment, I went to see Resident evil 2 today. Unfortunately, there was a concensus against me, and unwilling to spend the evening in by myself, I came along.
I am always wary of films directed by Paul W.S Anderson as his track record his hardly impressive. Indeed, there are few films that are not based on video games which he has made- http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0027271/ for a filmology. A quite disturbing list. Which is always bad. And, of course, not only had he directed this film, but he wrote it too.
First of all, lets talk ludicrous. All average run of the mill thriller films have their plot holes, but this has a monopoly on them. One special talent of the film was to take normally ludicrous moments from other films and make them more ludicrous. For example, a character can't get into his computer account at one point. So he types in "web search:hack crawford6" and a few seconds later he is granted access. Or when some characters are trapped inside a church by evil super zombies, and there's no escape. Apart from the other character bursting through the stained glass window on a motorbike, of course. Huh, why didn't I think of that?
Theres more, but I'll spare you. Lets look at the direction now. I suspect that some of the problems come from the requirement to keep the rating down, but some moments are inexcusable. Insane camera angles, zombies randomly blurred, oh good lord it hurts. Almost made me feel sick. I can imagine Andersons conversation with his camera man
"so yeah, every time theres violence, shake the camera."
"I beg your pardon?"
"Just shake the camera round randomly a lot. it'll be great."
And then at the end theres the wonderful 15 minute set up for the sequel. i've never seen a film more shameless. In its defence..... ah screw it, this is just a bad film when you get down to it
Of course, the major problem with this film is the way characters run with their guns drawn. Anyone who has played the games knows that you can't do that! You have to stop and spin slowly in a circle and THEN shoot.
Saturday, October 23, 2004
Kieran, the failed political activistLast night there was an enjoyable social of the one world group, Amnesty international and the vegetarians and vegans society.
Of course, vegetarians and vegans scare me. I like eating meat. I like it a lot- for me, the focus of a meal is the meat, and if you didn't have meat then it would be like a meal..... without meat. Indeed, when I went to xante this year, as a flatmate has just reminded me, I ate nothing but mixed grills.... mmmm, mixed grills. But I am actually quite subsceptible to the arguments by vegetarians. I'm pretty certain they hold the moral high ground over me. I have this kind of, very basic, justification to protect my status as carnivour, but I know if I let a vegetarian hear it then they would tear it apart. And I really like steak......
But luckily the issue didn't come up during the issue, instead I discussed religon, animal research, and, of course, real ale. Real ale and me have an odd relationship, because I like the idea of it. A pleasent beer for less money than you pay for your synthesised lager. The only problem is that if I am in the wrong mood, the bitter will taste foul and I will not be a happy Kieran. But I am trying to acquire a taste for it, because I really, really need to save money. My normal plan not to cut into my loan isn't exactly working.....
At the end of the evening I went back to Alex's where there was discussion of anarchy, a fascinating discussion. It was all started off by a discussion on the protest I had intended to go to today. There was, in fact is, a demo against Esso at one of the stations because of various policies they have- see http://www.stopesso.com/. Incidentally, thanks to our glorious prime minister a member of Esso is currently in the House of Lords. Thats right, not only do have Esso have massive lobbying power, they have someone in parliament. So yeah, it was at 11 today. And then we had a discussion about the effectiveness of protest while still trapped in the current system.... til 3 in the morning. I came home and went almost instantly (read half an hour later) to bed. Then I woke up at 12:30
I am the best political activist ever.
Friday, October 22, 2004
Fred's blogFred is the guy who got promoted to flatmate, incidentally. And here is his blog, because everyone is copying me now.
HoegaardenI can't believe I've failed to plug that beer beyond beers, hoegaarden so far! A wheat beer, brewed in Belgium, it is literally the best beer you will ever have. Nay, it is the finest alchoholic beverage your lips could ever be lucky enough to sample. Many a time depression and, dare I say it, personifications of evil, have been driven off by the sheer potency of this fine, fine drink.
It costs a fortune though.
AmnestyAh, another evening setting the world to rights last night. Heh, that almost rhymes..... Yeah, I have finally got my act together and joined Amnesty International. In case you don't know what Amnesty is, its an international organisation devoted to... well... amnesty. More specifically, it fights against human rights abuses across the world, and seeks for social justice for all, no matter of nationality or creed. Unfortunately, even Britain has problems with human rights right now, so it IS an important issue. Apparently the terrorists hate us because of our freedom, according to W, and if he can't be trusted.... well he can't be trusted, but thats not the point.
Anyways, yeah you should get involved in amnesty, or something like it. http://www.amnesty.org/ for more information, and you really should get involved. Its also massive fun to go drinking and start discussing politics with like minded individuals. I know that kinda sounds dull, but theres alchohol which always makes things better. Ah, alchohol, my friend.... at least on the night.
Ooh, on another note we have the internet now, albeit on only one computer, so I am most pleased, and loserish flatmate is hereby promoted to full flatmate status.
Thursday, October 21, 2004
HairMaybe, just maybe, my hair is too long. Just a thought, considering that, well, I am in Bath, and the university is on a hill. So there is wind, much wind, and under those conditions the hair goes where it feels like. Which is usually in my face.
I dunno though. Thing is, despite the mockery, every now and then my hair looks... well... not repulsive, and in those times I kind of like it. Add to that the fact that my hair looks AWFUL short, and even worse growing (the whole of it clumps at the top, making a very good impression of a haystack).
But then.... I don't really like flicking hair out of my eyes every minute. It makes me look vain about my hair, which I'm not because.... well because I have the hairstyle I have right now. I move it cause its really, really annoying. So, if you care to use that handy comment system you can attempt to make my mind up if you like.
paul's blogBecuase linkage rules
Linkage insanityIn case you ever find yourself with a lack of things to do on the internet, then check out these webcomics:
All brilliant and funny. With the exception of penny arcade and angry flower, you should be reading them from the start.
Actually http://www.angryflower.com/uncomm.html right now. Genius.
And if comics aren't your thing, and you want some good posting in a decent forum, check out www.uffsite.net/forums , the unnofficial final fantasy forums. But theyre not just about FF though- many other things to. I admin there as Ilpalazzo.
There, that should keep you happy if you for some reason weren't already. Oh, remember to go to www.thehungersite.com and click!
Damn you Stupidity (part 2)So I'm down the pub the other night, with a few friends. WHich I guess would be obvious- one tends not to go to the pub by oneself. Because that way leads to the one of the alchoholic, which is not really a healthy use of time or funds. While large binge drinking is.......
Anyways, I was discussing how I had managed to buy the wrong item from dabs.com, only to be told that, actually, a notebook is the same thing as a laptop. Bugger. So what I have done is
A)Paid £10 to return perfectly useful network cards (which they haven't collected yet)
B)Bought some different, more annoying, USB network cards in their place
Great. So I've paid 10 pounds extra to get worse products, essentially. Yeah, I feel reeeal smart right now.
Tuesday, October 19, 2004
Morning funBwa ha. Getting the bus is normally a horrific thing. I have just got up, had a bath in water three inches deep (or not at all as I did this morning. There was no hot water, and I just could not bare the agony again), having had far too few hours of sleep, thanks to a philosiphy the night before of "Oh, what harm can an hour of playing on Baldur's gate do?" (to which the answer is, make me feel like hell), and then I have to stand at the end of a gigantic queue for the bus, and hope desperately that I will be able to get on (having no misconceptions about the chance of getting a seat. Heaven forbid!). So yeah, not good. Today I thought it was going to be worse, as the bus drove past me. I started running (well, I say running. I'm unfit. I mean jogging and panting) after it, and it stopped!
The driver, out of charity, let me on there because I wouldn't have made it to the stop. Which meant that I got a seat! Wooh!
Yes, that was the highlight of my day. Yes, I am pathetic. To be fair though the day hasn't finished yet so I'm hopeful for another highlight before the day is out.
Monday, October 18, 2004
Craig Murray.Did anyone hear about this? http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/3750370.stm
The guy got fired for, get this..... telling the UK government, repeatedly, that the information used there was being gotten from torture. From fucking torture! And they got annoyed at this, and fired him, essentially.
Their rationale for this is the classic rationale of any post 9/11 government. Apparently, the world changed on 9/11 (other than our leaders attitudes, it really didnt), its now more dangerous (bullshit. Terrorism is ridiculously unlikely to kill you. If you're looking for a massive threat, the short supply of oil is the real one. Which might be one reason for a war on Iraq. Sorry, if you suggest that you are apparently crazy), and we have to deal with terrorists (well.... yes, yes we do) by any means necessary.
We do not. The whole point of us being a democracy, and all that pointless stuff that critics of the government keep mentioning, is so we are NOT the same as the terrorists. We capture or kill them, yes, but we do so by just and fair means. We do not remove peoples humans rights if we feel like it, and we do definitely never, ever torture someone.
OK, here we haven't got the information by torturing ourselves. But we are condoning torture by this, and it something that no really fair nation should ever do.
Damn you stupidity! Damn you.........So yeah, the internet is coming soon to my tiny household, which fills me with much excitement. Soon I will be able to check webcomics at ANY time! We all need that, don't we. But seriously, I need the internet all the time because people count on my presence. Probably.
Anyways, the internet is coming, but not to my computer. Instead, bizzarely when I think about it, my loserish flatmate's computer (the one who forgot about the internet. Damn his black heart), so we're going to have to use one of those wireless network hub thingies that all the cool kids are talking about.
And so, I headed to www.dabs.com , which is actually very good incidentally, although a little too easy with passwords (I forgot mine and it emailed it to me! You can buy things on dabs!!), and bought two network cards for myself and a friend. And they arrived the next day.....
At my parents house. Because I had entered the wrong delivery address. Cunning indeed. But that was easily solved- they forwarded it to me, and it came today. I had got the wrong network cards. They are for notebook pcs. Sigh. So I have had to return the damn things, at great cost to myself. I really have no-one to blame but myself, but in a desperate attempt to blame someone else, I will point out that it is stupidly hard to get anything OTHER than notebook pc wireless network cards. And, lets be fair, about 2 people in the country use notebook pcs on a regular basis.
linkagehttp://www.simplysuperior.blogspot.com/ Rich's site
Thursday, October 14, 2004
not posted muchBecauser I haven't got the internet. I have to do important things now, so I can only go online while at the library. Its been crazy here- our shower only gives cold water, our dishwasher is broken, and I've got a cough. Woohoo!!!
I do love parties though.... shit I've said this one haven't I. Well, ones where you don't know anyone are kind of different, so I guess I could make some kind of interesting comment about that.
Instead, lets talk about people, and when I say peoples its pretty much all men, who don't wash their hands after going to the toilet. What a disgusting subsection of the population. Its actually extraordinary how many don't. I try not to shake peoples hands after they've been to the toilet. I mean, I'm not heavily hygenic, but its just obvious that you're holding.... down there.... then you should be washing your hands!
Of course, the funniest people are the ones who seem to feel the need to pretend to wash their hands. They walk up to the sink, wash their hands under water for a split second, then walk off. WHY? You know, pick one camp or the other, don't go for this pointless halfway house! Water by itself has no magical qualities of instantly removing germs, its just odd. I suspect they do it so their hands are wet so everyone thinks they've washed their hands, while actually haven't. Losers.