Wednesday, August 31, 2005


Alice suggested I blog about cheese, and I hate to disappoint.

There are two types of cheese, the type you eat, and they type you get at a disco. I suppose one could also include the cheesy smell obtained from shoes (which really speaks well for the culinary kind, doesn't it?) but I am not going to.

I have never been a huge fan of eating cheese, probably because I don't really like how it tastes. This is always a drawback when one wants to eat large quantities of a certain food. Now I am a vegetarian I can claim I am semi-vegan and I do not eat cheese for health reasons. This would be slightly a lie as I rather like cheese in its melted form, but I am willing to lie if it suits my non cheese eating purposes.

The other form of cheese is rather repulsive. I'm not completely sure why exactly anyone would really want to listen to the Jakson 5 telling you not to blame it on the sunshine for every night of the rest of your life, but there you go. Bath is infected with this disease. I don't know, perhaps it reminds people of school discos gone. I was never one who enjoyed the farcical nature of those things (the highlight always being when they played that tune from the full monty and all the guys who lacked brain cells leapt on the stage to strip, but were to shy to actually do it, so they tended to unbutoon and rebutton their shirts), perfering to scoff at the sidelines (hoping, oh hoping for their happines...). I always prefer to scoff at the sidelines, its a very indie look, and will undoubtedly be in season within a few years, so all the actual cool kids are on the side while all the nerds dance. Stranger things have happened.

And yes, I did just use the word nerd. Wooh.

its national blog day apparently

According to this blog, today every blog will be posting links to 5 other blogs, and yea, much freedom of information shall follow.

Well, ignoring the links I have on the side there (I'm gonna update that bar one day...), first it has to be the excellent Everything reviewed which I have linked to before, but it bears repeating. Oooh, next God Hates God which is from that ring. Oh, and Girls are Pretty, and Out of Boredom aand... oh no this is hard cause I don't want to miss anyone out. OK, best thing to do is link to someone who I have never linked to before, to avoid offence... Slumbering Lungfish then, he of Lore Comic and Brunching fame

Monday, August 29, 2005

beautiful day

Uncharacteristically I have actually been making use of the fine weather recently, and have actually been leaving the household. Odd, I know, but we all have to change sometimes.

Bastard. Its a great word, and a useful insult, one that is considered quite harsh, despite its meaning being purely that your parents were unmarried, a rather common state of affairs nowadays. Oddly this does not work as an insult on women- you cannot call women bastards without looking odd. You can call men bitches, but thats generally when you want to imply they are really camp, and you can have the same effect by saying "camp bastard". I suppose this is because in ye old times it didn't matter if a woman's parents were married or not- she wasn't gonna do that well in the world. Having said that, saying the "bastard child" sounds cool. I'd love to be the "bastard child" of someone, although that would probably involve some tricky maneuvering with a time machine, and after all that effort I won't even know the advantage I've given myself if I've done my job properly. Really there are probably more effective uses of the time machine.

The more slangy a word is, the ruder it gets, generally. If you were to declare "Oh SEX!" when you dropped a fork on your foot (hey, it happens), at most you would get some very odd looks. However, synonyms for the same word will provde a look of disgust if small children are nearby. I think that is the bench mark of swearing- how sacred small children hold it. When I was 11 fuck was deeply rude- or at least I felt it was, and was to be held for very special occasions, although now I have the slightly unfortunate to use it as an adjective in my sentences, something I must remember to hold back on when talking to small relatives. Young relatives, that should be, I imagine being short does not make one sensitive to swear words, unless they are being directed at you, but then most people would take offence in that situation.

They're taking the hobbits to Isengard!

Awesome music video, which I cannot stop listening to. If there is any justice, this will reach number 1!

So anyway I was watching some tv today (thats right... although I spent most of this day getting lost in the fields near my house...), and I wondered- the people who do the little link between programs. You know, its the end credits with a cool theme tune, and some idiot interrupts with "And coming up on channel 4 is beeswax nation. Next week I will be interrupting 5 more minutes of your program to give you this needless information". Is that... all they do? I mean, is their entire job just recording little program transmissions. And, if so, how well are they paid? If that is a job that pays enough to live on, how awesome would that be? Very, thats how awesome. K, I'm tired now.

Sunday, August 28, 2005

This is awesome

You may have heard this, but I must have missed it...

They have now offered refunds to people who didn't enjoy the films he recommended, after a court ruling. Heh heh.

Saturday, August 27, 2005

An appropriate title

I have a tedency to write the title for my blog post before I have decided what exactly I am going to blog about, which means I will often have a title that barely relates to the topic at hand.

Not that it particularly matters, but sometimes it is a tiny bit difficult to search for a specific blog post.

So anyway. Breakfast. I remember when I had breakfast. It was never a great time for me, and I would tend to eat the same thing every day. Exactly the same thing. There are certain foods, including toasted tea cakes, which I cannot eat anymore, because they remind me of that horrible early morning times. I don't eat breakfast anymore. At university I tend to get up just before having to leave, so I have to grab an apple to substitute as food, which really isn't that filling. And back home? Well, other than in recent days (thanks to a certain someone), I haven't really got up until past 12, so.. meh. I don't really miss breakfast, Its simply too early to eat food, even though I know I should. 3 meals a day being some kind of golden standard of healthiness.

Mobile phones. Heh. Its odd how things change. I used to detest mobile phones. Before... well probably university really, I barely ever used my phone, and had practically no numbers in it. Now I carry it round with me constantly, and without it I would not possess a social life. That doesn't mean I can't be annoyed with mobile phone users. There is rarely an excuse for shouting into a mobile phone, as usually their microphones are much better than their speakers (there may be a way to increase the volume of the speaker. I do not know it). Because of people like this, I am always deeply embarrased to phone people on the train, despite the fact that I normally actually need to do it. I tend to huddle up (as if this will make me less noticable when I am talking into a phone). God I hate phones in general, which is why I enjoy texting. Its not that I don't enjoy talking, anyone who knows me will tell you in an instant that that isn't true, I just hate talking on a phone. Urgh, its awful. I'm not I can define why exactly- perhaps I need eye contact or something, to confirm that my words are being appreciated. But put it short, phones are the devil. Apart from mobile phones because you can talk to people by writing to them! How civillised! Hoorah.

OK, I'm done. I was going to mock people for texting into those awful shows like big brother which allow you to contribute, saying things like "DEan U R sexy, PS Sharon will you marry me?" but once when I was younger I spent a fair bit of money getting a message about how great Guided by Voices was on to a show. In my defence, it WAS a request show... At least I didn't pretend to want to marry someone.... If as many people were getting engaged as implied by those sort of shows the entire population of Britain would be engaged to someone else....

Thursday, August 25, 2005

It was the summer of zero five!

Ah, August in Britian. Outside the wind blows, and grey clouds glare down. This week has featured one day of sun, and 4 days of rain. You really gotta love it. I blame global warming, but only because I tend to blame global warming for everything- its the aetheists version of God: "Man has brought this calamity on himself", only it contains a certain amount of accuracy.

Not that rain in august in the UK is particularly unexpected really, but its fun to pretend to do so. Bizzarely, I remember friends saying how it snows much less these days. My friends range from the ages of 17-22. As far as I know, it has probably snowed about 5 or 6 times during my lifetime. It might well be that before I was born it was snowing every year, but to hear certain of my friends talk, it sounds like they lived through those times, those good old days.

This is, of course, a natural things. We imagine that the past was somehow perfect- those were good days for us after all, as they were not today. There was less crime, everyone was happier etc, despite evidence that suggests that, really, we're probably all better off than we used to be. I'm not saying we live in a perfect society- we certainly don't, but we all have a pretty good life, and I'm pretty sure it is better than it was 50 years ago. Of course, I didn't live then, but with racism excepted, homosexuality banned, and sexism rife, I'm gonna make a guess and say now is a better time to live.

I know, I know, how hopelessly optimistic and happy for me, the lover of pessimism. While that is of course true, I like to think that I'm a realist. Although I expect everyone does too, I like to think they are all wrong. Actually, I say like to think... I KNOW they are wrong. Because I am of course always right.

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

oh you know it'll be alright, when we go shopping!

Clothes shopping. I am not sure when I last went shopping for clothing. I do my best to avoid it, and as I haven't grown for a long time, I haven't needed to shop. However my sister had decided long ago that I was simply not hip enough, and it was her task in life to make me look more... well hip. I reluctantly agreed, and allowed her to lead me round the shops of Cambridge (next, topman, suit yourself, moss, and assorted others with far more ridiculous names), making me try on such slightly disturbing things as pre-faded jeans, and brown shirts. I have no idea why she thinks I look good in brown- perhaps it suits my sunny outlook on life.

Still. Shopping, as I have mentioned before, is deeply tiring, but shopping for clothes is even worse, as you have to try everything on. For some reason, every single bloody button on any shirt is done up, which requires more dexterity than I have after an hour or so of shopping. At one, rather stupid point, I attempted to put on a shirt with one of the buttons still done up. Word of advice: this does not work, and when you come out of the changing room with half the shirt above your head, you will be laughed at. Seriously, some of these crazy fashions kids are wearing nowadays- I couldn't work out whether one particular jumper thing was inside out or not.... I decided not to purchase that particular article of clothing.

But yes, I came out of it with much more clothing, which I might even wear on occasion. Those of you (un)lucky enough to know me personally might even get to see it. I can actually hear you shudder with anticipation.

Something Positive

I will post this again, and again, and again, but why aren't you reading something positive yet? It is possibly the best thing on the internet.... And I look at a lot of the internet.

Tuesday, August 23, 2005


I have been very busy recently, in ways that have sort of contradicted the supposed title of my blog. Not that I have been lonely... in most of my life, realistically, but what the hey- the title alliterates!

Soo, peanuts. I don't get peanuts, but thats probably because I don't like their flavour. The oddest thing about not liking something is people who like that thing will often question you with such intelligent queries as "You don't like it? Why not?" This rates as one of the more foolish questions ever asked. As a rule, taste is a rather subjective thing, so asking someone why they don't like food is like asking someone why they don't like music, or art. Yes, we can come up with some reasons, but realistically its a matter of what you like and do not like. And yes, while we can all grow to like things, I can safely say that I will never grow to like peanuts or swede. This is a point of faith, and while I will put up with certain things, peanuts simply will not do.

Throw away cameras really are becoming a bit of a rip off. For your average throw away camera you pay about 7 pounds. This doesn't sound too bad, until one realises that a digital camera can take as many pictures as you like, and costs 100 pounds. Now, the argument always runs that you always take photos on holiday, but it is a fact of nature that you crave photos of your friends and family. Sneaky people will just ask for copies, but I think thats a cop out, and if you're the sort of person who will get a throw away camera, you really are the sort of person who would probably use a digital camera enough to make it worthwile.

Sunday, August 21, 2005

What have you got to lose?

A detestable expression, usually said by others as a form of encouragment. Sometimes it will be phrased "You have nothing to lose!". You know what, if I actually had nothing to lose, then I wouldn't be hesistating, would I? The problem is, is that I never have a ready answer to this question, as usually theres nothing tangible, like my life, that is on the line, and more things like pride , and self respect, concepts that for some reason do not seem to hold up well to argument. I have never made that argument... well ok I probably have, and considering I spent one evening telling a friend there were plenty more fish in the sea about.... a thousand times (or so I'm told. My recollections of said evening are a little hazy), I probably shouldn't talk. But then I've never claimed not to be a hypocrite.

I love double negatives, because if you don't use them incorrectly they can't not add more flavour and intrigue to the sentence. Of course there isn't not not not not not not not not not not not a limit to the amount you can use without not accidentally not not not confusing your audience. Not one of the least difficult things to learn as a child is not not how negatives work mathematically. Obviously, not being not a student studying mathematics, such a thing is not not not not not not childplay for me. But I am not not not not going to stop this now because frankly, its starting to get on MY nerves to write.

Saturday, August 20, 2005

Busy Busy Busy

I tell you, I have been busy like a bee recently, an unusual state of affairs for me. Not that I've been doing anything one might accidentally construe as work, oh no, I have been living life to its fullest, and all that stuff. I couldn't do that constantly. Living life to its fullest is incredibly tiring, occasionally I need to live life to about halfway of its fullest. Sometimes maybe only a quarter. I suspect no-one lives life to its actual fullest, which would be to doing things( active, kerrrazzzeeee things) from the moment you woke up until the moment you fell asleep (or collapsed of exhaustion).

My house is a mess. Its a natural state, and I like it. I even can look at our sitting room and think it looks tidy (it certainly does compare to my university home), but then I go visit a friends house, where they claim it is "very untidy" because there is one piece of paper somewhere. What can I say, I love the cluttered existence! I have grown up with it, and I don't think theres a huge problem with it. Its more... homely, almost, to have a bit of a mess, because when you get down to it it is so much easier to have mess- things you want are near you, things you don't want are far away, generally, while if you organise everything you have to get up to get everyone. 's not for me.

Guest blogging

I am now going to post my various opinions, and news I gather about, UK politics over at Your village voic. Go check it out, tis a good blog in general. I will still update daily here, but now I will only rarely include my political rantage in a limited form here. Which might be a relief to some of you...

Thursday, August 18, 2005

My ex-girlfriend is a lying bitch

Hmph. So I go to a picnic today, and there she is, spouting lies about me to everyone! She KNOWS we shared our first kiss. It was so NOT just a peck on the cheek! I am practically certain that at the age of 8.. or maybe 9, we totally kissed once, and it was totally on the lips. We had to hide from all the other kids, for our love was a forbidden love. Both lurgy and girl germs were considered an issue.

Yes, after primary school, we parted ways, but I would have thought by now she would be over it, and would be willing to admit how great we were together... women eh?

Hmm, yes Yes... I have to agree with this. I still want to trust the police, but I think that if they mess up, there is still a tendency to cover up- natural really, but this seems to have gone right to the top. To restore faith in the police I suspect a full inquiry might be necessary.... This is a tragic incident, and it must not be repeated, especially not , as it appears to be here, by a complete communication break down.

sex toys

I was sent a link of a site with sex toys for men. Personally, I suspect sexually men are spoilt enough not to need sex toys, but what the hell. Anyways, theres some pretty nasty stuff on there, but I found this product. Thats right girls, what you've always wanted... a model of a limp penis!

I think the most amusing part is the suggestion that you "dance with it"... in what context? By yourself? To impress other people? The mind boggles. Of course, the concept of having a limp penis as your paperweight is quite an odd one too. Don't worry though, the "the uses for Mr. Limpy are limitless"... and its only 14 dollars too!


If only skin would eat

I am not kidding. I was flicking through the many, many channels that we have in our home, and I was treated to a garnier advert in which they made this lucicrous assertion. "If only skin would eat." I mean, I have come up with some really rather stupid ideas in my time, suggestions that I have quite possibly shared in this blog. But this really tops the bill. I would have thought that no-one in their right minds would say "if only skin could eat". What exactly are the advantages? Other than for people who cannot eat through their mouths, I suppose, and I think they are a bit of a niche advert for garnier to aim for. Seriously though, what bizzare scientist thought that this was a product selling idea? Probably the crazy guy with warts in the bag, and a hunch back. He hasn't got a hunch in HIS back. He's got a hunch back to do his bidding. Called Igor. Incidentally, I feel sorry for anyone called Igor because you are essentially typecast in life to serve evil genius', although considering the genius of most (I will make uncontrollable life), that should perhaps be evil morons.

One of the most misleading pieces of information about buttons that exist, other than the really big button that doesn't do anything (which is actually a hyperlink to the page itself, so it DOES do somethng. Scroll down a little and click on it. To be fair, it is very, very, very old. Thats what passed for humour on the internet 10 years ago... oh, such innocent times.) is the interactive mode on ntl digital. Press red for interactive, it decries! And you, in your foolish innocence click. Oh such a fool. Cue either waiting an hour for anything to happen, or resetting the box for the umpteenth time that day. I remember being told digital could lead to anything....

Tuesday, August 16, 2005


So.... I went to a party last night. It was fancy dress, so I went as a sheep wizard.

Image hosted by

That mask is one of the scariest things ever made. Its also really rather poor at providing vision, meaning that if one tries to wear it, one will tend to walk into walls. I ended up wearing it on the back of my head. I paid for my extravagence in the amount of alchohol I drunk by feeling absolutely awful today- fair quantities of the alchohol have now returned back to the wild.. so far the count is four....

I have two things I have to do today. First, I have to email this on the old list that I used to send it round on, as I promised to last night, and two, to talk about smoking, pedestrians and poetry.

Smoking is a bizzare habit, because I can't work out how one gets started. I have never smoked before, but whenever people have their first smoke, they cough and choke. Or at least, so Grease and Grange Hill tell me, and I have never known them to lie to me before. I suppose, like alchohol, you just go with it in the hope to get used to it. I can understand starting smoking at a young age- the impressionable teen, trying to impress his friends by destroying his lungs, but starting at the age of 20 so really is quite poor. Its pretty hard to miss the ludicrous amount of warnings about how smoking will make you die young. 20 or 30 years before you would go normally, which is really quite a bit. But what the hey, people are free to do what they like.. if you want to become a social pariah, go for it!

Pedestrians. I'm really quite fond of them, because I am one, being unable to drive, not because of any particular incompetence, but, because of the usual excuse, laziness meaning I have never taken lessons. Motorists hate pedestrians, because pedestrians slow them down. Whenever one halts a car by darting out ahead of it, they shake their fist because you have prevented them from getting to their location. You should feel ashamed. The worst is when it is raining, and horrible, and you are getting soaked, but the stupid motorists in their stupid safe little cars won't slow down to let you pass. Some SCUM will even attempt to splash water on you. Seriously, people who do that deserve pain....

Poetry. I am not a natual poet, although I have written a few poems in my time. My favourite style for writing is blank verse, because you can get away with pretty much anything. Some of the classic poems have a vague rhyming scheme, but its very poor, so they will cheat and not rhyme on various lines. I don't think this should be allowed. There should be a commision that checks all poems, and if they decide to have a rhyming scheme, they have to do it. My world would be a glorious one.....

Sunday, August 14, 2005

blog requests

Upon asking certain gentlemen on irc what I should write about here, I was informed, that it should be naked dancing, and hotdogs and chess.

Soooo... naked dancing first of all. Naked dancing can be quite enjoyable, I imagine, as long as one goes for sensual, sleek moves, and you don't get into the music too much, and start jumping up and down enthusiastically. Cause certain things just make the human body look really rather bad. The splits is probably not to be reccomened for men also. As far as I know, there are no clubs specifically for naked dancing... uhh...other than strip clubs of course.... but I mean where everyone just undresses and dances. I suppose there must be somewhere in this world where that happens. Nudist colonies I suppose, but the sort of people who become nudists... I can't imagine them being the greatest dancers in the world. Having said that, I am woefully ill informed on nudists, so the less I say, the better.

Hotdogs. The thing about hotdogs I don't get are those frankfurter sausages. Seriously, if you are going to eat meat, why don't you eat NICE meat? Those things are disgusting, yet they are the sausage of choice for hotdogs. Of course, one problem with proper sausages is because they are hot, and big, they tend to break the bun they are being held in, meaning you lose all dignity you were trying to maintain while eating them. There are a lot of food that are dignity destroying, especially if you are me, and have the grace of a ham sandwich. Pasta is bad, as is pizza, which is why one should tend to avoid italian restaurants for first dates. The worst is probably sea food, where you are expected to crack open the shells of the lobster, causing flesh to fly everywhere. I always sort of thought it wasn't worth it. You put in a collosal amount of effort to get this teeny eeny meeny bit of fish flesh, which wasn't really that nice. Just give me a steak any day. Well don't NOW as I'd have to glare at you, and say something like "is this some kind of joke?" and happiness would not ensue.

Chess. I like to pretend that I am good at chess, despite considerable evidence to the contrary. I did win 3/5 games at a chess tournament once. When I was 11. But yeah, I simply don't play chess frequently enough to be that good at it, and when I play I am a very slow player, so generally games will take about an hour, after which I will have lost, which really is a rather bad pay off for all that thinking. I will point out now that I have beaten my housemate Paul in 2 out of 3 drinking chess games, which doesn't prove anything much, other than I am petty. He beats me in every single videogame in existence, so I have to have something to talk about.

OK. That was blog requests. If you comment with requests, I might well blog about them. I'm pretty sure I can talk about practically every topic...

Saturday, August 13, 2005


There was an absolutely awful episode of Sex in the City (yes, I watched it... meh) where Carrie goes to a party, and has to take off her shoes, and then someone takes them. And then she gets really annoyed because apparently her shoes cost some ridiculous amount of money, and she really liked them. You are meant to feel sympathy for someone who has a deep underlying attatchment to her shoes. That like a cat lady, except these cats are inanimate. And you wear them.

I can't get all that excited about clothing, because when you get down to it, its one of the few things that you buy that you don't get much benefit from. Oh sure, it keeps you warm, but you can get very cheap clothes that keep you warm. No, if you pay more, you pay for style, which only other people get to appreciate. I suppose one gets the benefit if people go "hey, I like the cut of his jib" and give you money, or sexual favours, or similar. As of yet, this has not happened to me, but then perhaps the cut of my jib is not very likeable. I must admit to not being very stylish, although I'm not sure one can give quantative values of style- "oh yeah, that outfit is completely a 5!" I secretly want to live in the 80s, when the idea of looking cool was looking like... well Madonna did then. Of course the 90s had their compensations, with the concept of girl power meaning "wear little clothing! YEAAAHHH!" which, nobody really minded. Thats the kind of political movement men can really get behind. Wink Wink.

Anyway, back to my original point, at the end of the episode Carrie marries herself (or something like this. You'd think I was making it up, wouldn't you?). The point is, should one celebrate being single? I'm about to hit the year mark, which will also coincide with the creation of the blog (the original reason for creation being a rather dismal one, but meh), and I'm wondering whether I should have some kind of celebration. Like "wooh, I'm single!" and I could wear a little hat, which could say something like "social pariah" and it'd be awesome....

On a note of anniversaries, Out of Boredom is celebrating its anniversary today. Only a little older than my blog. Heh, who'd have thought it...


Consistently funnier than me

"You can lock your doors
And load your guns
But you can't stop The Havenhurst Municipality Bandits!

So hide behind the couch
And cover the floor in boiling fat
The Havenhurst Municipality Bandits will still rule!

Ev – en
If – You
Shoot – Our
We –will
Prob – Ly

So don't shoot the faces
Of The Havenhurst Municipality Bandits
And we won't spraypaint anybody!"

Friday, August 12, 2005


theres nothing more depressing for an incredibly creative type like myself as a blank page. OK, scratch that, if I was more creative I would probably see a blank page as a challenge rather than a death sentence.

Still, that sounded good as the first sentence. Anyways, first of all- no comments? You know I live off comments, and if I don't get enough, I shrivel up and die? You probably didn't know that. Well I do. And very unpleasent it is too. So yeah, put comments, with such insightful things as "yes. I agree."

Anyways, just listening to Crowded House, mainly because they are on my playlist, and the randomiser picked them. It has occured to me, that, for all these years of having listened to "Weather with you" (or whatever its called). Everywhere you go alway take the weather with you? Huh? I mean what do they mean? Clearly they don't mean the ACTUAL weather, because thats just silly. But equally, how is some kind of metaphor for your emotions better? Cause if you're deeply depressed then you probably don't want to bring that with you everywhere. In fact, you still will, but it won't be a conscious choice. The lyrics of the verses don't help, telling us that
Julius Caeser and the roman empire couldn't conquer the blue sky..... I mean, you could take that two ways. One could imply that some things can't be owned, but considering the sky... is owned, it could be a sad sign of the times. I suspect they did't really put much thought into the lyrics.

Not that thats a crime. The Beatles, considered by many to be the best band of all time (they are wrong. That title is clearly held by the Vengaboys), have some really, really rubbish lyrics. I can't be bothered to quote them, so thats your task for today kids, to find rubbish lyrics! Get to it!

Decline of Video Gaming!

Finally, Decline has updated. I might not have mentioned this before, seeing as I discovered it before I started this blog, but Decline of Video Gaming is pretty much the funniest thing on newgrounds. Not that that is saying much, but anyway, links to 1, 2, the christmas special, and 3. Check 'em out. 2 is the best... so far... I haven't actually watched 3 yet.

(NB. This should be obvious, but if you don't play video games... you probably won't enjoy these)

Thursday, August 11, 2005

Silly people

Kansas joins the states which are doing their best to make the new generation of Americans rather stupid.

Sigh, I'd hate the country supposed to be the most advanced in the world to have its students taught ACTUAL SCIENTIFIC THEORY AS OPPOSED TO CREATIONIST NONSENSE!

Thanks to Your village voice for this link

An open letter

Dear Mr Blair,

Please don't make me move to Canada. Despite a cynical, left wing attitude, I still kind of like Britain. I know, crazy huh, maybe it is just our sense of humour, maybe it is a general attitude, maybe it is just a fear of change. But some things go a little too far.

One of the reasons I like Britain is it respects human rights. It is, in fact, supposed to be a champion of those values. If you listen to certain politicans, this is apparently the reason why the terrorists hate it (one might have thought it would be the systematic using and abusing of their countries, but hey, I could be wrong). See, the thing is, is we have had trials without juries. We have had people locked up for very long periods without much evidence. It wasn't found to be a terribly effective method of stopping crime. I do not think you will find a large amount of people who are willing to support the policy of internment in Northern Ireland.

I understand that you feel the need to catch these terrorists, but considering how succesful the police appear to have been so far, it could be that it is not necessary to curb people's liberties to do it. I know the police say they need these new powers, but to be fair the police have been known to be wrong. Thats why we allow juries to decide innocence, not the police. Its a system that seems to have served us well for quite a long time, I really see no need to drop it.

The most worrying thing is your happiness to send people back to countries where they may well be tortured. Mr Blair, I like to believe that you are a good man, despite some evidence to the contrary, I like to believe that you still care about being fair, and helping people live better lives. I also know you are not a stupid man mr Blair, so surely you are not gullible enough to think that countries notorious for torture giving us... assurances are enough to protect them? Well, evidently not, as you are apparently prepared to withdraw from the convention of human rights to get out of this.

Do you really want to be a leader of a nation that condones torture Mr Blair? I know I don't want to live in a nation that does.

Please don't make me move to Canada Mr Blair. I hear its very cold in winter.

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

the gender genie

Find out whether your writing is female or male. My writing has been male on here, although a bit was borderline female.

I found this by way of Max Barry's blog, the creator of the online game nation states and also a writer.


I hate people. Actually, right now I hate the stupid automatic update thing, which keeps telling me that for the updates to occur I need to restart the computer. Considering I have now closed the damn thing about seven times you might expect I know this. My computer will be restarted at some point, you stupid thing! There are few people who keep their computer on 24 hours, and those are dedicated servers....

But yes. People. Especially when holiday. By people, I clearly do not mean my friends and family, who aren't people. They're my bitches. No, I mean those waste of space OTHER people. When I go for a walk in the lovely countryside, I don't want to be bothered by other people. Even worse, of course, I have to say hi to everyone passing, as apparently amoung walkers, thats the done thing. Its amazing how negative I am towards strangers. I know, objectively, that all my friends were strangers to me once, but I don't accept it as reality. I instinctively think of strangers as scum, especially if they feel the need to intrude upon my space.

This changes ever so slightly when I am drunk, as I seem to have spent many an evening chatting to random people in the pub- especially the Americans who occasionally appear on campus for a few days, and come and talk to me in the parade bar. Many people seem to have noticed this, and introdce me to people when I am drunk (actually, a friend said this happened purely because I spend most of my time drunk....). And when I say many people, I mean my friends. Possibly I should have said I hate strangers at the beginning of this post to avoid confusion.

On an unrrelated note, a friend of mine once got incredibly drunk, and climbed a tree, so we had to try to coax her down. For some reason I forgot this until today, considering how amusing the incident was.

Tuesday, August 09, 2005


Thought I might post some proof that i've been up a mountain.

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Those are two seperate places, I might add. Wooh indeed.

Monday, August 08, 2005

filmic fun

I watched My Big Fat Greek Wedding yesterday. Its really good. No, seriously, it is. Well, ok, it does nothing to redefine films, but as romantic comedy goes, its top notch, if only because it manages to be slightly different, managing to tell a love story without the inevitable 100 hundred minute mark "oh, some stupid misunderstanding has caused me to go to an airport. And its raining. Cue running and speeches.", the moments of drama instead coming from her father's slightly unenthusiastic reaction to her relationship with a non-greek. So yeah, I would reccomend it, but I have always kind of liked romanic comedy, so I have no way to judge whether you would like it if the though of it makes you ill.

There was another film I wanted to talk about, which I've completely forgotten. And, considering, on balance, filmic probably isn't actually a word. But what the hey.

Incidentally, Harry Potter. Now, much as I'd hate to spoil it (and I won't), those of you who are concerned about such things should probably know by now. The amount of spoil sports trying to ruin it are quite excessive (its weird though- imagine kids in a few years coming to the series for the first time, will be able to read ALL of them in a row. Within a couple of weeks, probably). I rather enjoyed it, although I know some critics don't, and I am aching to re-read it, although I am allowing my parents to do so first. 'Cause, you know, they paid for the things. Admittedly when I leave home I shall have to attain my copies. Or just visit home and read them I suppose. I'll cross that bridge when I come to it, which is an intriguing saying, because it seems to imply that bridge crossing is a difficult activity. Something that people have to think about. Surely something like "ford that river" would be more appropriate, as that is a task that involves something more than, well, walking.

Sunday, August 07, 2005

Things I learnt today

On holiday, I had occasion to be bothered by a cranefly. Thats a daddy long legs, for those who prefer the unscientific name (makes them sounds like minature flying gangsters to me, but hey, whatever you want to think), or those freaky long legged things. As you might have noticed, they share the obsession with moths of heading towards lights. This can be frustrating when one has a single lamp, near ones head, and the damn things keep flying into you. This one was not too bad, it merely decided to fly repeatedly into the ceiling- clearly it evolved in a world in which any upwards obstacle could be dealt with by flying at it repeatedly. They must serve spiders well, although thinking about it I am fairly sure I saw a spider web up the ceiling earlier, so how it managed to avoid getting trapped I do not know.

However, craneflies occasionally have a bizzare habit, in that with the light switched off, they will continue their futile upwards progress, meaning as I attempted to go to sleep I got to hear the slightly disturbing noise of its frail body hitting the ceiling. Frequently.

I decided to research craneflies, apparently they are very succesful creatures, and are also have amazing facts about them (well, according to this site anyway). It did not mention the thing about bright lights, and this being one of the things that had bothered me during childhood (including WHY is the sky blue, how do fridges work, and what kind of weather causes snow or hail), I decided to research it.

Well, according to the department of energy, we don't actually know! There is a theory that particularly bright moonlight would help them to navigate, but... the moon moves about, doesn't it? I mean surely as a method of navigation, heading towards a not necessarily stationary object is not the best. Perhaps craneflies live short enough lives that they can breed in one place, then fly off in a circle to get food, coming back again to breed and then probably die. And moths too. I doubt this can be true- surely relying on the moon to navigate is a deeply unreliable method, especially in somewhere like the UK, which is overcast pretty much all the time. Which is probably why it isn't a completely accepted theory.

So yeah, those are the deep thoughts that occured to me while in the lake district. I'm thinking wordsowrth probably had more productive lines of thought than I did. But then, he's a poet, and I am a scientist. Well, mathematician, but in a way thats the purest science. Or at least, thats what we like to snobbishly claim.

Robin Cook passed away

Hmm, a nice merry post to kick of my return (or rather, my sober return). Shockingly, Robin Cook died yesterday, apparently collapsing while out walking. As per usual I have little that is trite to say about this. So yeah... its a pity, he was only 59, which is no age to die at really.

Saturday, August 06, 2005


God, there is so much on the internet one misses in two weeks, especially when one wants to watch films. But what the hey. Yes, I am back from the lake district, with a remarkably intact house, and I am... drunk. What can I say, the allure of beer and wine (makes you feel fine) after a long journey having got up with little sleep was too much. So for tonight this is all you are getting, no doubt you shall hear my musings on craneflys, vegetarians, and Tony Blair within the next few days, but for now you must wait.

It was a good holiday, although whether it really counts as a holiday when what I was doing before was, in fact, nothing, is debatable, but then I have actually developed more of a tan than I usually do. I know, bizzare, to have done so in the lake district, not notorious for its boiling weather, rather than sunny spain (well, when I went there, there were thunder storms), but what the hey. Anyways, if you're still checking for updates, good for you! Keep reading, updates shall appear here soon. Ooh, I managed two paragraphs in a semi-sober state. Go me!