Lies, Damn Lies

blog requests

Upon asking certain gentlemen on irc what I should write about here, I was informed, that it should be naked dancing, and hotdogs and chess.

Soooo... naked dancing first of all. Naked dancing can be quite enjoyable, I imagine, as long as one goes for sensual, sleek moves, and you don't get into the music too much, and start jumping up and down enthusiastically. Cause certain things just make the human body look really rather bad. The splits is probably not to be reccomened for men also. As far as I know, there are no clubs specifically for naked dancing... uhh...other than strip clubs of course.... but I mean where everyone just undresses and dances. I suppose there must be somewhere in this world where that happens. Nudist colonies I suppose, but the sort of people who become nudists... I can't imagine them being the greatest dancers in the world. Having said that, I am woefully ill informed on nudists, so the less I say, the better.

Hotdogs. The thing about hotdogs I don't get are those frankfurter sausages. Seriously, if you are going to eat meat, why don't you eat NICE meat? Those things are disgusting, yet they are the sausage of choice for hotdogs. Of course, one problem with proper sausages is because they are hot, and big, they tend to break the bun they are being held in, meaning you lose all dignity you were trying to maintain while eating them. There are a lot of food that are dignity destroying, especially if you are me, and have the grace of a ham sandwich. Pasta is bad, as is pizza, which is why one should tend to avoid italian restaurants for first dates. The worst is probably sea food, where you are expected to crack open the shells of the lobster, causing flesh to fly everywhere. I always sort of thought it wasn't worth it. You put in a collosal amount of effort to get this teeny eeny meeny bit of fish flesh, which wasn't really that nice. Just give me a steak any day. Well don't NOW as I'd have to glare at you, and say something like "is this some kind of joke?" and happiness would not ensue.

Chess. I like to pretend that I am good at chess, despite considerable evidence to the contrary. I did win 3/5 games at a chess tournament once. When I was 11. But yeah, I simply don't play chess frequently enough to be that good at it, and when I play I am a very slow player, so generally games will take about an hour, after which I will have lost, which really is a rather bad pay off for all that thinking. I will point out now that I have beaten my housemate Paul in 2 out of 3 drinking chess games, which doesn't prove anything much, other than I am petty. He beats me in every single videogame in existence, so I have to have something to talk about.

OK. That was blog requests. If you comment with requests, I might well blog about them. I'm pretty sure I can talk about practically every topic...

posted by Mr K @ 4:30 pm