Tuesday, June 14, 2005

water to wine

Whats your favourite miracle that Jesus did? Mine's probably turning water into wine, because I can just imagine the circumstances that led to this.

For those of you who can't remember the situation, its a wedding party, and they have drunk ALL THE WINE. Mary comes and requests that Jesus helps them....

"Oh no!" Says Joseph

"Whaaaat?" Replies the drunken Mary

"We're out of booooze!"

"Do-don't worry, I'll jus' ask Jesus. JESUS!"

"Yes mother?"

"Hey, you'ree not drinkin' much', are ya?"

"...No mother. I... never mind."

"We're out of driiink Jesus."

"Oh dear, perhaps you should send someone to get some more..."

"Can't you help?"

"Mother! I'm the son of God! I can't frivolously do this kind of thing!"

"Pleaaase. Help your old mum!"

"Oh... fine"

Well, maybe I'm elaborating a little on the bible text, but I imagine it went something like that.

(Incidentally, I apologise to all christians I offended. Mary probably never got drunk. Just remember, if God is almighty, then I imagine he can survive a bit of satire....)


At 10:23 pm, Blogger Kirbie said...

Hehe, Jesus should have his own sketch show.
Remember every time you blaspheme an angel loses it's wings and probably suffers some kind of mild injury from the fall, or maybe not.

At 10:56 pm, Anonymous God said...

You won't be laughing when I come for you...

At 2:59 pm, Blogger Phil Plasma said...

I'm christian but also have a sense of humour and found your telling pretty good. Off the top of my head all I can think of is bringing Lazarus back. I can't think of a funny way to tell that story, though.


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