Sunday, December 04, 2005

The humble crisp

So, crisps. Rich (who has not updated his blog for ages, so shall not be linked here. Bwa ha ha. Honestly, people think they can write a list of 101 things about themselves and never update again), was claiming that crisps are a rubbish snack food. I think he's wrong, and I'm about to prove it. Using SCIENCE.

The humble crisp was first made in 1843 by Lord Cramblebee, who was an enthusiastic chef. Initially he wanted it to be called the Crambelebee, and indeed marketed it as such, but soon enough it got called a crisp. Apart from in America, where it was called chips, because American's just HAVE to be different. Stupid Americans, with their being the richest country in the world. Think they're so smart!

But I digress. The humble crambelbee came only in salted format, although there was a brief excursion into the concept of sugared crips. These were not popular. Things continued this way until Marcus Walker, in 1873, discovered that adding vinegar to salt would make it ready salted. And, also if you put cheese and onion in, it would become cheese and onion. The latter initally posed problems as it was quite hard to get the cheese to stay on the crisp. After some brainstorming, however, it was solved.

And so the crisp went into ascendancy, becoming the most popular snack food, and arguably winning not only the second world war, but the cold war as well. During the 80's, someone came up with the idea of hedgehog flavoured crisps. NO-ONE KNOWS WHY.

So there you have it, the crisp, is, in fact, the finest snack food around. Proven with SCIENCE!


At 6:02 pm, Anonymous hilarious catastrophes said...

heh... correct me if I'm wrong, but, HOW was that proven using science?! What exactly was scientific about such a sweeping (yet strangely sintilating) history lesson? Now I never profess to being a scientist, by any stretch of the imagination, but there are 'scientific' methods there that clearly involved no more than looking at a website while you wrote your blog... Haha! Your reasearch source is rumbled... And science inevitably falls short, if indeed, thats what it was, which it wasn't.... oooohhhh! As for crisps, what i really want to know is, what possessed them to make bloody cheese and onion flavour in the first place....?!?! more anon dear folk...

At 7:20 pm, Blogger Jeff said...

thanks for the history on crisps lol

somehow I'm thinking if they can add vinegar into crisps they must be able to add alcohol (like vodka) into that as well right? it could make a really popular snack!

At 11:53 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

walkers cheese and onion crisps. The god of crisps.

excluding hula hoops.

At 11:55 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

K, get your SCIENCE out. What is that, like, ironing?

Try and unleaf THAT comment.

At 1:06 am, Blogger Kirbie said...

Cheese and onion are awesome, but I will never forgive Walkers for switching the colours of cheese and onion and salt and vinegar - damn them and their confusing ways!

At 1:08 am, Blogger Mr K said...

Hmm, if you do not understand how that was proven with science, you clearly do not understand science!

And salt and vinegar is where it is at.

At 3:19 pm, Anonymous Amanda said...

Agreed - and prawn cocktail!!! - But
are they vegetarian does anyone know?!? :-S

Incidentally, I have a strange feeling that if they added alcohol to crips, the good stuff would merely evaporate? Could be wrong, but who wants to have their crisps tasting of vodka anyway. :-(

At 2:53 am, Anonymous Rob said...

Crisps and vodka both come from potatoes. Hmm, an interesting conjecture.

At 3:24 pm, Anonymous Mxyzptlk said...

I have all the powers of an alternate universe, and beef hula hoops are the best!


Damn you Superman! You tricked me again!

At 3:25 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...


Using science, I can prove that the simple existance of cheese and onion refutes your claim!




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