Lies, Damn Lies

Bullet Proof Monk

For some reason it took my fancy to watch this sorry excuse for a film recently. I guess the fun theme tune and the chirpy looking ads intrigued me, and I always like some martial arts..... Or so I thought.

I'm still not sure why I watched this film the entire way through, but I did, and so am able to describe the plot to you.

The film starts in 1943, in Tibet, where some monks are fighting each other. We learn that our hero, Chow Yun-Fat, has just completed his training, ready to defend a scroll that can change the entire world. Cue Nazis, that kill everyone, with a ludicrously over the top leader who I desperately prayed would not feature in the rest of this film. Zoom forward, and it's the present day, we get introduced to a thief, Sean William Scott, and Chow Yun-Fat is there too. They bump into each other, and to cut a long and tiresome story short it turns out he is the one prophesised to carry on in defence of the scroll. See, he learnt martial art skills from watching old kung fu films...... Oh, and the heroine is the daughter of a Russian Mob boss, who apparently had to go fight in "the street" because thats the only place she gets rated on her performance..... apparently. Oh, and the Nazi is still chasing after the scroll. And his daughter is the head of a humans right organisation (earlier on in the film, our russian daughter asks whether displays of acts of brutality might encourage people to do this again. I'm not entirely sure whether she's being serious or not.....), a front for evil of course.

The incredulous plot might have been helped by a sense of humour, which it felt like there should have been, but this is one of the most humourless films I've ever watched. Schindlers List has more laughs. I'm not entirely sure why I thought this film would be any good, but I wouldn't expect it to be QUITE so bad........

posted by Mr K @ 5:44 pm