Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Spam spam spam

Lovely spam. Anyways, I have been thinking about spam recently. One assumes that it must work. Not massively, not so that the companies using it make a massive amount of money, but it must make SOME kind of money. Now some spam, I can see how it might work- the ones that promise girls gone wild- well, men do exist, and I can see that a reasonable proportion will click those links. Even the ones about buying a degree- I imagine some people might be tempted to do that.

But penis enlargment (or, indeed, breast enlargement). On the whole, to enlarge one's penis, I should imagine one would either have to have surgery, or take some kind of hormones. Neither of which are hardly the most reassuringly safe sounding things in the world.... Seriously, who would actually agree to do this over some random site on the internet?

Well, in the interests of science, I clicked on a link. This particular site, and I will not link you as no doubt it is full of pop ups and spyware, so you probably don't need to have that as well as me. Anyway, this site tells of a wonderful patch that enlargens one's penis

"The Penis Enlarge Patch is medical dermal patch infused with a pure botanical formula made of 100% natural herbs guaranteed to add size to your penis and enhance your sexual performance.


How does the Penis Enlarge Patch work?

When you get aroused, your brain releases a hormone and tells your body to send blood to your penis, which engorges the spongiosum and cavernosa and stimulates pleasure receptors. This is called an erection. Your penis is full of a spongy tissue that absorbs the increased amounts of blood and expands, causing an erection. The Penis Enlarge Patch formula stimulates these cells in a manner akin to bodybuilding, and builds new layers of cells onto the old ones. While you sleep, your penis' stressed cells repair, strengthen, and grow back larger and stronger.

As any dermal patch does, the Penis Enlarge Patch effectively and safely infuses the pure, unadulterated formula into your system, effectively bypassing your digestive system, as any male enlargement pill require. This is easily the most efficient method by which to ingest the formula."

Apparently-

"We have a 97% success rate! Our product works for men of all ages, from 18 to 70, and beyond. We have had customers both younger and older who have seen satisfactory gains in both length and sex drive. Circumcision is not important, our program works for men who are both circumcised and uncircumcised"

Disturbingly, on the testimonials page there are some pictures of people's penises, supposedly lengthened, but as there is no before picture the effect is lessened.

The price? Why they have a fabulous offer so you get 2 months free if you buy 6 months. Only 200 dollars! A bargin! I mean... christ. They do claim to have a money back guarentee, but are non-specific about how long it would last for, or indeed how difficult it would be to get ones money back.

I think the worst thing about this experience was the tiny nagging voice in my head saying "hey.... maybe it DOES work."

3 Comments:

At 11:23 pm, Blogger Imperium child said...

Maybe they get money sufficiently from people clicking on the links "in the interests of science"...

haha, that nagging voice is communal... well at least unto the lads.

i think you've just happened upon the most humiliating, degrading, insulting present anyone is ever likely to get another human being... it would be even worse from your partner... But it makes me think that someone, somewhere must have given it as a gift at some point. *shudder*

 
At 12:27 am, Blogger Kirbie said...

Guess that's your xmas present sorted then :)

 
At 7:33 pm, Blogger Jeff said...

interesting :)

 

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