Lies, Damn Lies

A typical roleplaying session

Frequently during any roleplaying rules book there will be an example of play. I've often found these quite unrealistic, so I've decided to create my own

GM:Right, so last session
P1:Hey, did anyone see lost last night?
P2:No I'm waiting for it to come out on DVD, so don't say anything
p3:Man, I hate that show
GM:..guys
P1:Well I won't spoil anything, but Hurley... lets just say Hurley is changed forever.
P2:Will you shut up!
P3:Urgh, what kind of name is Hurley anyway?
P1:And there was this really funny moment whe-
P2:STOP!
P1:Bu-
P2:NO!
P1:Fine, did anyone see Futurama?
P3:Oh yeah, that was hilarious
GM:GUYS!
....
GM:So, last session you met Baron Vondelsnit
P3:Who?
P1:The pirate
GM:No... Vondelsnit wasn't the pirate. That was Darkclaw
P2:Was he the one who stole that golden statue?
GM:No.. there wasn't a golden statue. You met Vondelsnit at the tavern
P1:Oh hey, thats where I got drunk and dueled that elf
P2:Yeah, that was awesome, then didn't we just leave?
GM:No... You met Vondelsnit, who informed you of the Prince's plan to start a war by having the princess kidnapped.
P3:I don't remember a prince or a princess?
GM:Well you haven't met them yet, but the Baron told you about them. Anyway, the Baron told you of the Prince's plot, and entrusted you with stopping the Prince's plans before they came to fruition.
P2:Oh thats right, and then we got the golden statue, right?
GM:there... was never a golden statue
P1:Oh hey, that reminds me of in Indiana Jones when he gets that statue by switching weights. I've always kind of thought that those traps wouldn't have worked because they had been there so long
P3:Well they're pretty mechanical
GM:I love those films. Best one gotta be Last Crusade.
P1:Are you nuts? Raiders is easily superior
P3:I always kinda liked Temple of Doom.
P1&GM:You are nuts....
GM:So uh, yeah, anyway, you were going to stop the prince, you went to talk to the duke, who turned out to be in on the plan and set his dogs on you, and we ended the session before the combat started. So if everyone can roll me initiative.
P3:Wait, we're in combat
GM:Yes, with the dogs.
P3:Do we not get a chance to react or anything
GM:YES, but you did that last session
P3:I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have let myself got put in this situation, I've got animal training 5.
GM:It doesn't matter, you don't have any time to train them
P3:Do I not get a roll?
GM...fine, roll at -100 penalty
P3:K... Yup, I succeed.
GM:What? I... fine, you talk down the dogs, the Duke looks pretty impressed
P3:Wait, theres a Duke here?
GM.ARGHHHHH!

Labels: random, roleplaying

posted by Mr K @ 2:24 pm