Why so cheapDear expensive restaurants everywhere.
I am paying a small fortune to eat your cuisine. No doubt your chef is extremely experienced, and your food will taste delectable. So why do you feel the need to penny snatch? When I ask for water, I want goddamn tap water. I don't want to have to spell it out to you to prevent you charging me for mineral water, I want freaking tap water. If you fear that some of your clients would be offended by being brought tap water, you could always ask them.
And why, god why, do you feel the need to give me a morsel of bread with my soup. Bread improves soup. Its great to have a decent chunk of bread to absorb my soup- I do not believe I am alone in my regard. If it really sets you back that much, then charge more for the soup- its already outrageously expensive anyway! Even worse is those of you who, instead of just providing bread while I wait for my starter, actually have the cheek to charge for the sodding thing!
Also, and this is a more general outcry, but what happened to mints at the end of the meal? Bah.